The story of my life, one post at a time... 2006

happy valentine's day

2007-02-14T00:35:00.000+11:00

i'm tired of being alone.

And the battle commences!

2006-09-20T00:58:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me ]

The above is an awesome track reccommended to me by Dantan, although his girlfriend Marie would argue she was the original fan but just got there a little too late.

Anyhow, this battle of galactic proportions kicks off where Joe Fraser and Muhammed Ali left off.

With only 4 weeks of University life remaining my friend Duong and i have a bet.

Any cute girl we catch, we have to stare at her and the first person to break contact will lose the bet. With some convincing we're hoping to get a third contender: Waiyip Khong.

Hard for me to say this is my last semester at University. I haven't joined a club, i didn't go to a ball and i never really got into the Uni life (though sometimes i wish i did) but never fear! These final days of Uni will be a good one.

I will post the results of our match and the winner gets to force the loser to ask out any random girl the winner chooses even though Duong hasn't accept this as the prize... he will! ... by force :P

Holler out: Helen Le on her 23rd birthday. 9 years of being best friends, you are on hell of an awesome friend. I still owe you a birthday present and another bday shout out to Hayden Upton. The man of words never ceases to make me smile, a legend in his own right!

That's all for now.

-Jay

My torment

2006-09-17T06:19:00.000+10:00

It's almost been a month since i've had a decent night of sleep.

Each day i hate going to University and i hate myself for not standing up earlier and doing what i really want to do.
No one really understands, especially my family who insists this is the best course for me but i die inside everyday.

University is a routine that i should've gotten used to a year or two ago, i use every excuse to get out of class or not study at all.

Often i feel depressed my life isn't going anywhere and i'm confident the skills i'm learning at the institution will not provide what i will need in the future. I'm haunted almost everynight of a vision, a possibility that could be there if i go for it...

In my eyes, i see success, wealth, happiness in doing what i can do best; that is to create.

Anything from photography, music, storyboards, advertising, script writing...

The thought of saving up for my own dark room or brand new SLR camera brings a sour smile to my face.

Sadly, it's a bit of a catch 22. If i go on with my Uni given my complete lack of motivation and focus i'll most likely just fail and repeat. Or if i just leave i will be branded a complete failure by my family (and myself) for not going that extra 10%.

It's hard to put down in words that i should give it a shot and just finish it, i just mentally blank out.
I've even resorted to asking Jenny for help in time management, study techniques but frankly she's not the support i'd hope for... or even remotely close.

Sometimes i wonder if this nightmare will ever end?

Yes, you negligent parent...

2006-08-13T17:40:00.000+10:00

I'm sitting here trying to finish up my assignment that's due this Wednesday but today is definately not my normal Sunday.

Firstly, there's a little boy sitting inside a car who has been there for about a half an hour and upon my personal inspection (i don't knwo why i did) the windows are rolled up and his parents are no where to be seen.

I for one am not what most would call fit or suitable father's because i feel if i bought life into this world i'd be distracted and noth ave the time to care.

But, this really shits up me up the wall. For fucks sake, it doesn't take that much effort to take your sleeping child upstairs.

It got to me so much, i thought i'd tell the parent who is a woman who seems to juggle her finances like she juggles her lovers that it's illegal to leave a child in the public with no supervision not to mention it's morally wrong.

She told me that if she took him upstairs, he'd wake up and start crying. Whoopdy-fucken-do. It's what kids do... they cry.

I hate the drop kicks who live in the units next to me who have this seriously wrapped sense of rightiousness and values.
In their eyes, they don't think they're doing anything wrong.

I especially hate it when i find myself in a situation where i feel like i have to tell parents how to be parents. My point of view doesn't seem to phase her. Maybe a call to child services will change their mind... or maybe the junkies, desperately broke losers who have nothing to lose, the mentally unstable, the disabled, the hoons, the thieves, the 30 year old who rides a BMX sporting his "hip" bandana and wu-tang jacket will.

Secondly, if that's not enough, the neighbour on the opposite site of my street was alledgely bitten by a dog. The ambo's are now taking him away, with the dog no where to be seen.

So now we can also add a wild dog to that list too. Feeling safe in my fucked up neighbourhood?
I sure as hell am.

-Jay

the apprehensive move...

2006-08-07T01:27:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Shawn Mullins - All in my head ]

This is one of those thing's where you get burned so many times but you come back for more.

Blogger, you've won this time.
I'll keep this one short and continue to just copy and paste off MS Word.

I celebrated my 23rd birthday and i don't think things can be any better.
It's a time of reflection, perhaps thinking back on some of the events that's really impacted my life.

My family, friends and that long drive that makes you feel like you have all the time in the world.

I get the feeling that no matter how fast i work, time always works faster and sometimes i feel scared that everything is moving moving so fast i'm being left behind.

I keep putting it off, but at the comic launch (i'll write the full article a bit later) reminded photographs are precious.
There was a wall on the back of the bar where the event was held... and i see us going through that period.

I remember questioning whether the project would ever see the light of day. I guess it did :)

If someone was to ask me what i would be doing sometime down the road of this crazy ride i would say playing my guitar on a little sand dune singing about the good life with my friends sitting around thinking the exact same thing.

Life's good.

Due for closure

2006-07-11T00:32:00.000+10:00

After the last incident i've decided this blog will be officially closed permanently.

I poured my heart and soul for about 2 hours... writing about the highlights of the last coupel of weeks which put shades of colour into my black and white life.

I was really considering it prior to that last post and well because this blog was already on parole nohing makes me happier than to shut this fucker down for good.

I would like to thank everyone who've been keeping in touch with me via this blog.
When i get around to backing up my writings from the last 2 years i will deregister it asap.

Once again thanks.

-Jay

Landslide...

2006-07-11T00:22:00.000+10:00

'Welcome back to the world', i said to myself.

Looking back, i feel whole again like i've found something i've been missing.
Not that i was really looking for anything in particular it just so happend that when one just let's all small trivial things go... the outcomes from that are rewards beyond any conprehension.

I knew it was a good break from school thanks for the Football, but there's so much more to it than that.

Chalkboard is finally ready to take it's first step into the real world. The comic is finished, and well everyone's just really glad we got it done. I never imagined we could all bunch together, set a job that we've never embarked on before with nothing more than a piece of paper, a pen and a bucket of dreams. Here we are today, with the final product sitting next to me thinking i'm the luckiest boy in the world.

But here's the deal that's been on the my lately... sure it's great to have my ice cream and to eat it too but that's so insignificant to what really happend.

I'm starting to really find the juice out of life, the cream inside the mundane biscuit, my diamond in a rough...

I've learned 3 lessons these last few weeks that i admit will stick with me for the rest of my life:

I learned who i'm: i reflect back on the events during the world cup. That was the first time i celebrating with the rest of my country, not because it's a sport but the values and everything we stand for. We are the free beings who believe that everyone has a fair side if you fight for it. What it really means ot be "Australian" and why i'm so proud to be a part of it.

I learned about love and the stuff that's in-between: I was passing though Monin's shop after securing a venue for the Chalkboard Photo shoot and i somehow ended up "helping" with the store because i felt like a idiot standing there while everyone worked. It was good to see a day in the life of a hussle and bussle city shop but what happend afterwards that really struck me. I met a street musician who was triyng to make his living. I leant him an ear and he played... eventually we started singing and it opened up my heart to all the people to was walking by. I closed by eyes and i belted out whatever i was feeling with my new friend playing...

[HERE'S WHY I WILL NEVER BLOG AGAIN]

What was written above was 10% of a "recovered post" thanks to the blogger server shitting itself when i try to post.
I've seriously had it.

It completely ruined my post... and urgh very frustrating. It's either cuz im writnig from a mac or safari.
Well here's a summary

- Awesome charity dinner, Geraldine Cox rules.
- Chalkboard for teh win.
- Fuck i hate blogger.

-Jay

Happy Bday to Grace, Chow and me.
Thanks to Vito, Monin, Omer, Hayden & Christian(sen).

World Cup Finals - 2006 - Australia v Croatia

2006-06-23T08:45:00.000+10:00

WE'VE MADE HISTORY!!!! AGAIN!!!!

2006 heralds as one of our Nations greatest historical moments as Australia will proceed into round 2 of the world cup finals and personally one of my biggest highlights for my mid semester break.

A touch over 3 hours ago, in a match plauged by referee controversy, Croatia scored in the first 3 minutes of the game leaving the underdog Aussies fighting an uphill battle right from kick off.

I sat with my cup of hot soup, surrounded by my msn with many who are awake commentating through the game.

The penalty came around and Moore took it; GOAL!

The msn conversations errupted with mostly "OMG!! EJIFEWFJAEWIFJE~~~~~!!"
and left many of us who was awake to witness that speechless.

Half time and we were sitting our equilizer, relieved that Australia will make it through. I fired up my HR and raced to my local 7eleven for smokes... needless to say i was swamped with a large crowd how've put off snacking and cigarette essentials until half time... nevertheless i was emersed in green and gold including myself.

I raced home, and the second half just started.

If i had to sum the next 45 minutes up in a few words it would definately have to be "intense, breath-taking and completely at the edge of my seat".

And i wasn't the only one.

Why? Croatia scored leaving us to re-take our well deserved victory... penalty shots not called especially on a handball incident, red card for emerson and a red for a croat who was still allowed to play?!?!?!?!?

Bresciano, Aloisi and Kennedy were subbed in. Our attack force is complete and as soon as i thought "hmm, we could actually do something...."

a goal came in by no other than Harry Kewell putting us in fighting chance on 2-2. The rest of the match was purely tooth and claw as the Croats fought back and they indeed nearly succeeded with a few VERY close calls but it was defended.

10 minutes on the clock.... this is where i rememebered myself experiencing involuntary shaking... if i was 60 i'm sure my heart would've stopped. Yellow cards started flying, and so was the ball... the crowd on both sides in suspended animation.

... the longest 10 minutes of any footballer / patriot's life. Then... it was over. We did it. We didn't win the match but we won the war.

Next up, Italy. MY friend who was online at the time is a big fan of football but he's Italian... when i asked him who he went for in the next match he said "Austrlia man. All the way" and i was very proud :)

We're rounding the cheeering troops as we speak and i reflect back and it's funny that indeed we're all from different nationalities!
Palestinian, chinese, vietnamese, cambodian, filipino, italian.... I've never felt prouder to be who i'm. I'm Australian. :)

I'll also be there to see how we will develop over the years thanks to the Socceroos this morning. School kids might choose to play more football... and it might start a chain reaction where in 10 years time we will be a force to be reckoned with and i', keen to see us go through all the way with 30 odd years in the making.

This cup doesn't just represent a sporting event; it signifies unity, tolerance and respect for other nationalities and cultures and helps unify our world with peace and understanding. Something that could never be achieved with politicians and handshakes. If world war 3 would ever happen... it would take place in a football stadium.

Fuck i love my country.

GREEN AND GOAL! - AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!

2006-06-13T02:14:00.000+10:00

Outstanding, unbelievable. Miracles do happen.

I rounded up Thao and Jarryd tonight to attend Australia's premier world cup against match favourite, Japan.

Jarryd and i was Aussie (this was Jarryd's first World Cup) and Thao went for Japan.
We arrived at the Glen Waverley TAB just a touch past 10pm, the match started at 11 yet it was already full.

All teh seats were taken so we settled to stand up and watch it on the big screen.

First half went with the ball having a lot of close calls, Japan attacked (and defended) fiercly with a controvertial goal rewarded to Japan; the footage in slow motion revealed that the attackers forcefully stopped the goalie from doing his job and this should've been a red card but Austrlia fought on.

The TAB's morale was dropping, half time past and Australia is on 0-1. Second half Austrlia picked up speed and make many shots at goal, with shootouts stopped by Japan's goalie.

Even i felt this was futile, i tohught to myself "well they made it into the World Cup at least..." as i ate my hotdog.
78 minutes in, Thao was smiling but was disappointed at Japan started getting sluggish.

Cahill was subbed in at 58 minutes, the tiny TAB swelled up with pride. It was good to see a lot of Asians that night wearing Green and Gold but our hopes felt dimished. 78 minutes gave Australia a shot at goal by Austrlian captain, Mark Viduka.

A save by the goalie and with less than 10 minutes on the clock, everyone was praying for an equilizer.

My thoughts were "well, we'd only lose by 1, that's okay..."

Then minutes later, GOAL!!!! The TAB cheered and Australians tasted their first World Cup goal after decades of disappointment. A tremendous effort by Tim Cahill. Cahill moments later scored the second goal minutes later from a shot in the outer box putting Austrlia to the lead by 2-1.

At this point there was magic in the air, for the last 5 minutes Australia has come from being the compelte underdog to the most likely winner of this match.

Half the audience chanted "DEFEND!!!" and i was one of them. Just keep it steady for a few more minutes!
Before we could even recover Aloisi brought it home at 93 minutes.

The TAB was in a complete uproar, all of us cheering and screaming as loud as we can, chanting "Aussie, Aussie, Aussie" "OI OI OI!" followed by our national anthem.

Everyone was awstruck, the impossible happend. The most exciting World Cup match i have watched in years. 3 goals in less than 13 minutes. That moment in the TAB, with the crowd all cheering with all of our pride and respect for our Nation, i felt at that moment we were whole. Greeks wearing their home scarves with the Socceroo intertwined, middle eastern people wearing their "Kewell" jerseys, Asians... for 10 minutes of cheer i felt that was as close to world peace i could ever feel in my lifetime.

Unbelievable... words cannot describe what took place tonight. I'm so proud to be Australian.

-Jay

Oppurtunities come and gone...

2006-04-26T00:06:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ A Perfect Circle - 3 Libras ]

Some pretty big events have happend since Ke'vs funeral.
Last Sunday was a cruise dedicated to his honour and i think it went well.

I'm thankful to see car enthusiasts share a moment and think about a friend, a person some of them have never met and i'm constantly suprised by the attitude strangers have for others in need or paying their respects.

The day held up well, not much rain but a lot of smiles and tears.
The BBQ was somewhat typical of what happendi n the past with the regulars coming in and having a bite, walking around taking happy snaps but the moment that hit me was in Berwick.

There under 6 feet of dirt and soil lies my friend... i imagine how cold it was, not moving... a person who is so filled with life... overcoming every obstable life threw at him and he did it with a smile.

Seeing the people around, i tohught to myself "If only you could see this Kev, how much we miss you"
Almost brought a tear to my eye.

Makes me wonder how much time i have left and what am i going to do with that ...
Will i be disappointed when that fated day comes?

All i could think of when i asked myself this is just getting Chalkboard Studios off the ground. It's probably a really immature answer at this point in time when i dont have responsibilities like kids, a family, a wife etc but what i think i'll be content with is knowing i had a go at my dreams and gave it my best shot.

Meanwhile, i rejected a really good job offer so i could finsih my school.
The band is going well (even with only 4 hours of practise a week) and i imagine we'll get a bit serious when the big holidays comes.

Chalkboard itself is in a stage of a major reform. We have 4 potential guys coming in doing various roles ... the tough part is putting them in places where they'd do the maximum amount of damage because they're really good and really on the ball.
To safely get them in, we'll need to do a day's worth of spring cleaning i think. Some of our files are not organised and well kept... and some members don't even have some critical files.

Days are going by really quickly.. especially with uni. Hard to believe it's week 7 already.
The leaves have started falling, it's getting darker and damp... cold. There's going to be a lot of hot chocolate and warm campbells chunky soup to be eaten and i can't wait.

It's going to be a nice Winter. I can feel it. The important thing for me is to smile and remember to say hi because it's the smallest thing's that make a difference.

-Jay

I thought i heard you laughing, i thought that i heard you sing...

2006-04-03T01:05:00.000+10:00

This is dedicated to my dearest friend, Kevin Gibbs.
A person who taught me in life that in the bad bunch of apples there's always a good one. I'm deeply sorry you had to leave so soon. I really am.

Pictures: Left CLG, Jim, Kevin, Michael (SeptemberSquall)and... a wigga.
Someone correct me if i'm wrong.

-Jay

AAW Kevin Gibbs, 01/04/06 - Lonely day.

2006-04-02T23:30:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ System of a Down - Lonely Day ]

I'm beginning to hate my entries.
If it was any other day i'd probably complain about my school work or my Dad breaking my gearbox on the old Sprinter but today is different.

I've come to realise that most of our live experiences in the 70 odd average human lifespan; instant changes that happen and affects the way we all behave and live for the rest of our lives.
In an instant a baby is born and we celebrate with joy and happiness...
In an instant a man dies and we feel an emptiness that cannot be explained to those who have never felt it.

My friend, Kevin Gibbs died at 8:45pm on his way to visit his brother in Eildon when his car collided with another vehicle head on. He was killed instantly and the passengers of the other car was taken to the hospital hanging onto life...

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,18684911-29277,00.html

It's different when the page of the newspaper relates to you. A statistic. In the ever expanding road toll tradgedies that takes the lives of my 18 year old friends to me anyone else it's not just a fucking number.

Today is a day that i can't help thinking maybe i've missed out on something important... aside from the last words everyone keep wishing they had said.

I met Kev for the first time at the train station early on November morning in 2003. I was depressed and angry someone had stolen my car and through the goodness of his heart decided that he should catch a train at 6am to help a stranger find his car.

That's kind the person he was. He was 16 at the time and i have to admit i've never felt generosity on that level and assures me there's still humane and genuine people left. He was humble, quiet and always gave more than he should.

I'm sitting here, drinking tea for the first time in years wondering about the small things about people you cannot expressly say into words like how someone smiles or says something...
I think it's strange after people you care about are gone all you're left with is that and the urging ambition to say something to them again.

I've had probably over a million thoughts today and then some while trying to grasp onto reality but some of the thoughts i've made (and understood) was the smallest things are the biggest. I went to Kev's house earlier tonight to pay my respect to his grieving cousin and fiance and i couldn't help myself crumbling... a dry eye, swollen glands and a dirty hoodie complete with snot and tear stains affirmed my friend is gone.

His cousin told me during my stay, i played him a song... the song titled above and they tell me he played it over and over again after i left and sometimes they'd catch him off guard singing it too.

I tried to smile a bit but i can't help feel this loneliness.

I cried because one of my memories of kev was this one time he was really short on cash and he made me pancakes out of flour and water... and topped it with jam.
I cried because people that like deserve so much better, his room was the way he left it and i saw his bed with his blankets set in a way as if he woke up only this morning, empty beer bottles and a toyota poster.

I cry because i lost a friend whose heart of gold would make the bank vaults look like a pantry and angry that i'm here with tea and cold pizza at my disposal.

So the final question i asked Jim was "was Kevin happy?" and he delightfully replied with "he was also happy. he loved everything and everyone... he takes joy from the simplest things such as painting the kitchen boards to whining about not having his pizza"... and it made me think.

He was indeed always happy as he was magnificent... but i'm doing a lot more and i have more stuff but i'm always sad. Aside from the obvious that i'm a proactive selfish prick i'm also missing out on the finer thing's in life.

I'm doubting the "glass half full" philosophy and i think i'm settling for "it's always full"... i'm going to sip my tea, remember why small things do matter while some don't and be thankful that i'm still around.

Kevin Gibbs is alive and well, though i haven't said it enough while he was alive...
I'm going to use the "AAW" thing i did in my previous post in case people think i've lost my marbles.
I'm ever thankful about every moment i spent with him. I can die someday knowing that it was never me and my actions that were great but the people around me who are.

-Jay

n.b: SeptemberSquall's comment of "ten fucking characters" is reference to something else and not in the way i thought it meant. Thanks to -dh- for point that out

That sugar cane...

2006-03-19T01:45:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [ R.E.M. - Imitation of Life ]

It's been a funny sort of week.
While i got most of my university studies done, two significant things happened in this whole ordeal that stood out form the rest.

Firstly, Mike left the band. He left because he said he had no time and cannot afford to commit to the band anymore... Chalkboard fell behind and as i have pushed for a late March launch it's not going to happen but we can still manage a mid April launch i think with full artwork and a more organized marketing campaign so the push back will be worth it.

The other event, i was trying to fix my network between my sisters computer my own which I think did more harm than good because i resorted to starting the network from scratch because i thought the network had conflicting protocols and deleted an import file... which led me to search for my Windows XP cd... packed in a box somewhere under my bed. There, i found a dull green manuscript, my diary from year 8.

Saying the number of years out loud, 9 years makes me realise how fast time really is.

Anyway, having said that... flicking through it i remembered we used an old system of "good" and "bad" notes where teachers would write down what you've done to deserve them.

Some of them were, "Jason must not talk", "Did not be silent during reading time", "disruptive in class", "did not bring his PE gear", "did not obey teachers instructions"

and here's a funny one "fell off chair and make a ruckus" <- i love that one.

Slap a few detentions, late notes, and the thousands of notes to teachers about why i did not hand in an assessment or failure to complete my homework in a handwriting and signature that looks remarkably like mine definitely made me smile.

I don't remember the boy i used to be, but i have flashes about how fun it was to misbehave, to laugh all day, to spend the annual income of $2 at the tuckshop and the bounty we can buy with two whole “bucks”.
This will be reserved for a full blog about 1997, but as i flicked towards the end of the diary i made a "signature" section (which i must admit was neatly coloured in bright waxed crayons, I loved my crayons.) had general well wishing for the next year... in this faded blue ballpoint note read : "Hey Brotha, Best wishes next year" and another inscription in the same writing next to the original "okay i'm just filling space... don't forget me.... your brothers... wamy (lawsom), Necro(Chow), Monin..."

Only to realise that handwriting is Minh's.

It's been nearly 3 years now since he passed away, as i write this i still feel like i can look up the address and telephone section of my diary and call him. It hit home hard today and made me pause stay in a trace-like state for about a half an hour. Reading through my diary, i traveled through time as though i'm seeing myself in the past playing hockey and four square with some kids that i would say my life evolved around... and on the other side of the door stood me alone.

In a way, i'm happy the memories i have of my dearest friend is a good one... full of singing, being a menace, that true essence of being a child like the one depicted in the movie "stand by me"... i want to talk to my friend... i want to tell him the world has changed since that year and what i'm doing now.

He'd probably ask me am i happy? I'd say not really and i can imagine "well then, BE HAPPY THEN!" because that how irrational Minh was, and how we all were.
Maybe the answer we’re all looking for is as simple as that… just be happy!

“I’ve got uni” … so?
“I got a speeding fine” … so what?

When i think about it now, life's just a flashing moment... a memory in someone else’s eyes because if 9 years can go by like that then our lives are nothing more than trivia and an split instant in the universe.

I glad that the life of Minh lives and survived in the people who knew him best.
A rebel, a star, a hero and a brother. Come home soon old friend, i really miss you. I don't believe in RIP (Rest in peace) but rather, AAW (Alive and well) because i think that's how he'll always be... really.

I'm listening on a song (on repeat).
It captures what i'm trying to say really well.

-Jay

R.E.M. - Imitation of Life

Charades, pop skill
Water hyacinth, named by a poet.
Imitation of life
Like a koi in a frozen pond
Like a goldfish in a bowl
I don’t want to hear you cry

Thats sugarcane that tasted good
Thats cinnamon thats hollywood
C’mon c’mon no one can see you try

You want the greatest thing
The greatest thing since bread came sliced.
You’ve got it all, you’ve got it sized.
Like a friday fashion show teenager
Freezing in the corner
Trying to look like you don’t try

Thats sugarcane that tasted good.
Thats cinnamon thats hollywood
C’mon c’mon no one can see you try

No one can see you cry

Thats sugarcane that tasted good
Thats freezing rain thats what you could
C’mon c’mon no one can see you cry

This sugarcane
This lemonade
This hurricane, I’m not afraid.
C’mon c’mon no one can see me cry
This lightning storm
This tidal wave
This avalanche, I’m not afraid.
C’mon c’mon no one can see me cry

Thats sugarcane that tasted good
Thats who you are, thats what you could
C’mon c’mon no one can see you cry

Thats sugarcane that tasted good
Thats who you are, thats what you could
C’mon c’mon no one can see you cry

riders on the storm

2006-03-13T01:13:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [ R.E.M. - Losing my religion ]

It's now Sunday evening, Melbourne had a pretty hot day for March.
Didn't do anything except go to the beach with Chow, McMahon, Cat, Monica and Lan.

It was a really nice day... it got cloudy late in the afternoon but the water was wonderful...
I was sitting down while everyone else was in the water and i was meant to read up on "Masters of financial planning" book and struggled with a chapter telling us to be honest, diligence and truthful to our clients... about 25 pages of elaborated common sense crap so i kind of tuned out and just listened to the waves, the people laughing and the orange. For a short moment i felt at peace and reflected on the thing's that are happening in my life and what made me happy.

Well, Chalkboard is very close to finishing the first volume. After a year of hardwork we're almost there... i haven't pinned our successon this because i think it'll take time to get recognition but i'm glad to know the effort we made to make it a great story... no short cuts, no half arsed shit.

I truly wish i can say the same for my Uni, i've taken the time to organise myself into a routine which includes sleeping early and setting times to actually complete my homework... so far i'd give that effort a 6/10 with room for improvement.

I'm waiting for my hair to dry before i sleep but i'm already sweating again.
I'm quite annoyed that where i live it's a big of a double edged sword when it comes to the weather.

When it's hot, the house is really cool... the house is built on bricks but the problem with bricks is... once it starts cooling off... the bricks still retain a lot of heat and that's the situation i'm in now.

Well, i'm going to pour myself a nice glass of cold water and maybe sit outside the balcony until i feel like i'm ready to dose off.. Susan is meant to pick me up in about 7 hours for carpooling and i'm afraid all she will see is the bags under my eyes but who can blame me for sleeping in such humidity... i have to hand it to the folks up near the equator...

-Jay

Monash social classes...

2006-03-02T00:43:00.000+11:00

Something happend today and i'm not happy.

Pissed off actually.

My day started off well, i woke up at 6:30am and arrived at to my class.

In the afternoon, i promised my friend i'd buy a book for because she was worried the bookstore on campus would be closed and she would happily pay me back.

So there i'm lining up to pay for the book and i bumped into my little sister's friend; Leanne. Leanne, she's cool but the company she was keeping today was not.

She was with by two of her friends and i sensed something was quite definately NOT right with one of them like she was mean, or a socialite (which is common at Monash i'm afraid).

I cut in line behind Leanne the line was starting to look ridiculous and i wanted to have a chat and ahead of us was this beautiful girl. She wasn't skinny, she wasn't fat but she had this radiance about her that made me feel warm and happy. She was greeting her friend like she hasn't seen him in awhile and she was all smiles... i couldn't help but overhear "I'm not from here, i'm from Berwick".

I never really gave thought about Berwick aside from that it's far, despite my thoughts on taking some subjects there because a friend recommended the smaller sizes classrooms really gave him the support he needed.

Anyway, the "mean girl" was worried about the fail marks appearing on her final transcript but she was supported by her friends and reassured that Monash marks are really hard to obtain. They used someone from VUT (Victoria Uni) who would recieve A+'s recieve the D+ equivilent in Monash and laughed.

The mean girl then said "Yeah, it's like students from Berwick trying to pretend they're in Clayton"

and then it happend... it's like all the lights just shut off from my friend and everything went dark with me asking "Did i just hear what i thought i heard?"

The girls giggled and the angel from Berwick looked absolutely shattered. She wasn't smiling anymore nor was she talking.

I don't think the "plastics" noticed this but they've really hit the nail on someone and i wanted to slap the shit out of her.

What the fuck?! i mean seriously, what gives you the right to say that? I'm hoping for her sake she didn't see it because she heard her say she was in Berwick.

Me personally, who cares what campus you go to?

I don't see a "Clayton forever!" or any Monash apparel from her for that matter... if the campus burnt down tomorrow she'd probably say "Okay, where's the next closest Uni for all the fake, pretentious, socalite losers like me to run amok?"

That's just wrong. Really wrong. I guess i would've just thought "man what a b!t#h" every other day but today the situation was exacerbated and i've really got to vent this.

I repeated loudly, hoping the poor girl would hear "all uni degree's are the same. The degrees you recieve don't have campuses written on them and they all say "Monash Univeristy... blah blah blah"

The mean girl replied "Oh, why not?!" Like that was anything to be proud of.

"Well, they should!"

Sure, i'm proud of the campus that hold fakes, the campus whose toilet stinks more than the a dog's breathe does on a really bad day and the shitty building that sinks half an inch every year. Oh yeah, I love it.

A part of me wanted to chase after her and tell her we're not all that bad and don't let a few rotten apples spoil the barrel lines but i don't know why i didn't. I paid for the book, told the girls what they had done and while they giggled and (probably) felt bad... i walked ahead and i didn't want to be in their presense any longer chasing after the girl.

I looked for anyone carrying a brown "Monash bookshop" bag but nothing. If i could wind the clock back for a few hours... today would be it. I hope she's okay... she just looked really hurt. I mean, think about it... you're having a good day and you decide to finally pay over the top prices for your book in clayton, bump into a friend and then like a real televised drama get told the institution you attend is a piece of shit compared to the "real" campus and you're left pondering that thought as your self esteem just got tagged for extermination.

Fuck, we're in Uni for God's sake... how can people protest about different social classes, the "Marxism" posters, economic and political reforms and other inequalities when we have pinheads who think they're better because they worship the concrete they stand on? (Technically, it was carpet)

No one's shit smells better than anyone elses. Period.

-Jay

I'm Superman

2006-02-23T03:37:00.000+11:00

Your results:
You are Superman

Superman		85%
Robin		77%
Supergirl		77%
Batman		70%
The Flash		60%
Iron Man		55%
Wonder Woman		52%
Spider-Man		50%
Green Lantern		50%
Hulk		45%
Catwoman		15%

You are mild-mannered, good,
strong and you love to help others.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...

End of summer

2006-02-23T02:59:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [ Crowded House - Fall At Your Feet ]

Well it is when i think about it... summer officially ends as soon as my foot steps outside my car and i walk past the den and into the crappy Menzies building (it's still sinking.. apparently the scaffolding is already up repairing the piece of shit)

I think i've had a pretty good holidays.

It's been about a week since i've come back from Anglesea... it was definately worth it!
At first i was really hesitant because everyone was a couple except me, and no one likes being a third wheel let along the ninth.

For some reasons, these trips usually have a chain of bad luck in particular the final moments right before you set off.
My car was packed, ready, oil checked, tyre pressure okayed and the battery clamp falls off right at the last minute.

i mean, WTF?!

The battery came loose and it somehow discharged itself which busted a fuse. No problem, we had a spare fuse and bolt for the clamp but the fuses were different!!!

I was really glad that this didn't seem to affect anyone elses spirits except mine because naturally i was furious with my car. We hauled ass and crammed into Rodney's 'tuff as nails' Forerunner and sang all the way into Anglesea.

Before i go on i should probably describe the people on the trip...

Rodney is a happy go lucky mauritian who loves cars. His fiance; Ana is his yang who always corrects him and the pair is inseperable. couple number two is Christian and Amanda... Christian is a cool headed bloke who went to the scouts and knew how to tie this kick ass knot to tow my shitty sprinter home... Amanda is his lovely girlfriend who is very chilled back... but i guess i can't really say much cuz everyone was laid back and cool :)

Finally, Gracie one of my closest friends, my confidant, my default wife and her boyfriend Hugh. Hugh looks like Zach Braff ( i swear it!) and always smiles like nothing could ever get him down... awesome guy.

took us forever to find the house because the bin they left out on the front was the wrong number... as a token of my appreciation i kicked the living shit out of the bin when we all parked. Christian and Rodders got wasted and i sang them both a serenade into the wee hours into the morning with manda and ana. Grace, the party pooper went to bed (as well as hugh...)

The first night i was entertained by drunken men pretending to be break dancers, jamaicans, rastafarians, indiians and of course; Maruis. Manda and Ana wasn't pleased when the boys did the Hakka at 4am and stomped the house in a riot but i thought it was terrific... what they didn't know was... i had recorded their little drunk talk session :)

Next morning i woke to the arrival of two house housemates... The Huxinator and his girlfriend. Though his girlfriend was quiet and shy.... Hux was not. He's the funniest turk and he's just full of life :)

We went to the beaches for the next two day... i skimmed boarded and rode some waves... i loved every minute of it. I even found three little pippies... but they died when i put them in the fridge :(

Apparently, Grace has booked in another holiday house on labour dya weekends... i can't wait to be honest!!!

Back to reality... i've re-enrolled this semester with 3 subjects (i dont know if i can even manage through them.... advanced business finance with tax law... ouch!)

Chalkboard is great, we're pretty damn close to released on the scheduled month of march... completing volume 1 will be a big achievement with Vito working for days on end without a break just so we can do this. The half completed works look incredibly impressive. I've had the easy task of thumbnailing the small panels (volume 1 was fully completed tonight and 50% remains for volume 2 as i write).

Band stuff has hit a slight snag because it's getting incredibly difficult for all the band members to find time to practise.
Mike (lead guitarist) works everyday and if often tired and worn... but he can shred like anything though.
Chris also works, has commitments like gf and family... i love his bass riffs but if i ask for his opinion... he's just too nice and always says it's good... hahaha
Sasha, drummer and song writer has gone back to school and i think she's looking for a job. She's always in her own world ALL the time and it's really hard to get her attention!!! But she's funny as hell and i love the way she laughs.

Phew!!!

Right now? i'm probably going to complete a couple more thumbnaisl for vol 2 and have a cigarette.

-Jay

Shoutouts: Kev (phrostbyte) for putting a roof over my head when i needed one the most, Helen for eating about 15 dumplings, Chow... for calling me a faggot and fixing my ride, Huxinator>> never above you, never below you... always next to you bro. Cheers!

"Release the gooood!" - Little Nicky

2006-02-10T02:09:00.000+11:00

Yeah, shitty film... i know but i liked that quote cuz it's so corny.

I'm slacking off from going to the gym, i've noticed.

I can't still believe Uni opens it's door in little more than 2 weeks (probably less actually)
Yet, there's still heaps to be done. In particular, Chalkboard.

The day couple of days has only involved one of two things.

Comic books and band stuff.

I enjoy both emmensely, so much so i've decidedly taken this weekend off to a beach house in Anglesea with 'ol Gracie to "release the good"...

It'll be two days of intense creative artistic ejaculation and i'm hoping i can get the most out of it.
Here's the vendetta:

- Sift through previous recordings and isolate useable riffs, chords and experimental stuff we can use.
- Complete half of volume 2 on "The Cave: Pilot 1"

That we i can pretty much reserve all of next week to mentally and physically prepare myself for uni again.
Getting to bed before 11:30 is a task in itself these days.

I've recently fallen in love with a movie: Napoleon Dynamite.
At first, and for the longest time i hated it.... it's so stupid...

I sound like a hyporcrite when i say love it but after 10 minutes i got the joke.
The acting, the music, the location (especially the location) is superb!!!

People love it or hate it, but i think it's a piece of original genius and wished i wrote it.
It's like they hired one of the guys from "uglypeople.com", the whole bucktooth, slouch and glasses
and made him the star. The characters are so stereotypical but glorified, you can't help but love them.

I'm trying to think of a scene i like best but i like the entire film. See it! you'll love it or hate it... or like me did both;
hated it then loved it.

8.5/10

Until then, i'm going to slap some sunscreen, fill the petrol tank and say "wassup mah beaches???"

-Jay

Hello... and welcome.

2006-02-03T01:41:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [ Foo Fighters - Everlong ]

February the third... seems almost forever since my last post.
Finally got a chance to rub my hands and sit down and say hello to an old friend, my blog.

Ah, can't believe January flew by so quickly.
Coke's slogan for this summer is "As it should be..." as much as i detest this propaganda my summer is exactly what i wanted it to be... states travelled, new people met, beers consumed, movies watched, model kits made, beaches, sunsets, cigarettes the whole shi-bang.

Having said that i suppose the most appropriate thing to say is what happend since my last post.

I wanted to initially recap all of 2005, right now i, like everyone else is still trying to adjust to 2006 so it feels funny when i'm "capping" 2005 off. The year was an interesting one of ups and downs... a rollercoaster of extremes and i felt like i didn't have the time to stop and catch my breath.

March 2005 saw the start of something that is still in full blown operation in 2006... Chalkboard Studios.

A dream became a vision, the vision becomes in motion, the motion eventually led me to work with the finest artists, writers, publishers and of course good friends. For the first time in my life i felt like something so right is working, sometimes it becomes so surreal i close my eyes and open them again just to make sure it still wasn't a dream.

We've come quite far, completed tasks upon tasks i've thrown at them but they keep persevering.

Conflicts, overcome.
Scripts, done.
Trip, been there.
Thumbnails, done.

Good times? Hell yeah.

The downside was unfortunate bad luck after badluck. Uni was one, i gave it my all but because of a ridiculous time table structure i failed a crucial uni, no biggie... i continue to struggle through semester 2 and scrape by... okay whatever.

Then comes the substantial traffic fines because of a small event that amounted to over 1 thousand bucks.
Not a big fine? It is when you're broke.

I've applied for so many jobs and i don't get replies. Fine.
Whatever.

Here's the point, i made it through... i made a promise to myself (and a lousy New Year's resolution) on January the first last year. I told myself to give it my absolute all or don't bother. I'm glad i can say i'm proud of that at least... i was true that..

Unfortunately, NYE resolution suck balls... i don't need an excuse to change on NYE, i can do it tomorrow or the day after.
So this year i said fuck it. I'll make it as i go...

This year, i'm going to hold my breath and take the one way ticket ride again... this time i'll remember to be true to myself.

-Jay

p.s: Monin, i'm back, mofo! :)
Shout out to Pete, Com tam and the people who read my blog... thanks for telling me to get off my arse and update.

HELLO SUMMER!!!

2005-11-11T00:55:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [Audioslave - Be Yourself ]

My final exam was on Wednesday, so technically this is my first day on holidays.

How does it feel? Abso-fucken-lutely wonderful.
I don't have one once of regret this year. I studied my ass off, i attended all my classes (if i was physically able to) and when i got out of that exam hall, lighted a smoke and said to myself "so this is what freedom tastes like".

All the things i've been planning over the semester is now possible; problem is i don't know where to start!

I spent the entire day cleaning my room, i've been wanting to for ages because the amount of notes i've collected over the period is ridiculous. It ended up amounting to about 2 giant bags of paper and 1 bag of hard rubbish. Why stop there?
I scrubbed the windows, wall and vacuumed and now the room is spotless.

I said goodbye to my faithful calculator and pencil case until next year; none of which will be missed.

Here's the list of things to do in the next week (and i'm not wasting a moment of it)

-> Get car back on the road
-> Plan trip to Sydney at the end this month.
-> Finish my canvas and start a new one
-> Practise my vocals and guitar
-> Help Chow put his bushings in
-> Start chalkboard up again
-> Fix up resume and do some holiday work
-> Spend more time with family and friends
-> Clean the entire house (maybe paint it too?)
-> Buy protein
-> Start eating 4 meals a day then increase to 5 (weight gain challenge)

I'll prioritise them when i have the time.
Ciao for now, i'm going to play Street Fighter then hit the hay.

-Jay

Monash Rant Pt . 3

2005-11-03T21:49:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [ Louis Armstrong - Mack the knife ]

Those who study at Monash Clayton, does anyone ever notice the stench in the basement male toilets???

There's so much amnonia in the air, due to the fact that idiots refuse to flush after they've finished doing their business.
I caught a student who hung a number 2 and didn't wash his hands earlier in the semester. We might as well be directed to piss in the bushes, that way it smells nicer plus i don't have to read the outrageous racist remarks and political propaganda.

Look out people of Australia this is the next generation of leaders.

Also, the librarians are nice.

The exams are heating up, there's 3 more days to study after today and i admit i'm starting to get tired.
Yesterday i had one of those black out days where i just really couldn't sink any information down.

The only motivation i have is the ice cold beer, guitar, car and friends i can't wait to see once this is all over.

-Jay

Bring back the death penalty...

2005-11-01T15:15:00.000+11:00

I got a email from someone urging me to attend a rally to support convicted herion smuggler Van Nguyen.

Nguyen pictured,

was sentenced to death last year when 400grams (nearly half a kilo) of heroin was detained from him by Singapore authorities last year.

He stands to be die by hanging in the next 10 days. If you think this is an article in support of his release. You are wrong.

I'm sick and tired of saving these scum, while i sympathise to his Mum and hoping her next child is bought up with more discipline i hope Van Nguyen is a message to others. What a disgrace; his Mum didn't flee wartorn Vietnam to Australia to raise a drug-dealer.

I don't understand how anyone would want to campaign for something so ridiculous. It's common knowledge, if you haven't heard by now that the importation of drugs results in death, maybe this face should ring a bell:

What really ticks me over is the excuse being used which is almost as bad as Shappelles. Instead of "it wasn't mine!" by Corby it's "i'm helping my twin brother clear his debts" Souce: http://www.prisonersoverseas.com/

Here's a solution you should've thought of dickhead: GET A JOB.

You aint helping no one clear debts by flying half way across the world (where the hell did he get the ticket money?) to corrupt and shit on the laws in Singapore.

If Singaporeans come here, if they go 10km's over the speed limit they will be fined. That's fair enough i think.
If we go there and chew bubble gum we have to respect the laws put in place by chewwing our shit elsewhere. Same with the drugs.

Seems everyone is so keen on saving this drug-dealer but i'm sure if the same supporters would want Van to live next door or to look after your kids you'd second guess it. It makes the Asian community look bad adding to the arguements for an already thin point of tolerence between our ethnic cultures and also makes Australia look like a convict country in support of drug-dealers.

Many would argue Van Nguyen is human and should be treated like one, fuck even Buffalo Bill, Chopper Reid and Charles Manson had mums and probably helped them with the washing at least once. That's the defence arguement: "he's a good kid and helps his mum with the washing" and all of a sudden he's a good kid. I can imagine him thinking of all the sweet profits he'd make from the sale and maybe use the money to buy himself a nice car or getting street cred from his crew.

Who's the "sick cunt" now?
Where's your "bros" now when you are sitting on death row, lonely and no one, especially me gives a shit about you.

If you're truly stupid enough to bring drugs to a country where you gonna get hanged then maybe you should. and if we as a country are stupid enough to support his cause then i think we really need a revision. Human rights by all means should protect the innocent.... a key word that has been lost in this media charged "brother helping, washing hanging drug smuggler" controversy.

Van admitted many times he has guilty and he was sorry.

Maybe he doesn't deserve to die, but what matters is principle and prevailing laws in place to keep the people of Singapore drug free. I respect that, and so should any would-be travellers.
The situation is exasterbated when the government is pleading with the Prime Minister and even The Queen to save this little runt's life. A admire the effort put in by his family and friends but trying to mitigate our of this with leverage that would put a significant pressure on a economic scale especially with trade is not ideal and i hope our Prime Minister is smart enough to know better. (I hope the queen supports this, it'll be funny because i don't see her even sticking up for our own Johnny Howard)

A heading for The Australian, "government works for Nguyen" made me sick.
The fact that Pell lobbied to the pope made me sick. Sif Nguyen would go to church, he'd be the bastard outside it trying to sell it to our kids.

Here's a good one, why don't the people who want Van Nguyen out take his place at the gallows... anyone?

source: http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5744,
17067085%255E1702,00.html

It's one less drug dealer on the street, corrupting would-be drug users who steal, rob and plunder the realy innocent citizens who work, pay tax (that funds their god-damned welfare) when they can't afford to buy the drugs from our friend here, Van Nguyen.

I think we should bring back the death penalty. If everyone knows you're going to die if you sell drugs then i think that's a big deterent. I don't care what circumstance either because i definately ain't rich yet i still make ends meet without problems. Pham saiod to me, we should clean up Springvale by clearing out the druggies... his suggestion: "line em up and shoot all of them".

How right you are.

-Jay

teh ultimate street fighter movie

2005-10-28T16:31:00.000+10:00

This would've made poor Raul Julia turn in his grave.

(Click the title above)
8/10 - Quite quirky and at times just packing awesomeness.

-Jay

Life is a video game...

2005-10-28T15:34:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Boa - Serial Experiments Lain Intro ]

Why?

University, 13 weeks of skimming through and it doesn't matter what kind of preparation you've invested in you always find yourself feeling restless, anxious and confused by the time you arrive at the doors.

I hate the feeling like my whole life weighs on it (well it kinda does).

Video Game? Well today i was playing Street Fighter II (original) because i was well-prepared and had 15 minutes to spare before Bean arrived to drive me and i realised that our life's like a video game: No matter how long you skim through the piss weak easy levels there's always one thing in the end that'll make or break you. All it takes is a punch by Bison and you're dead. Difference is; you can continue in street fighter.

Here's what pisses me off: Students who DID NOT prepare and you can tell cuz they have the expression of "IMMA GONNA FAIL", their zits are in overdrive, they have coles myer sized bags under their eyes and they seem to smell of redbull trying cram 13 weeks of info in 5 minutes.

Nice. Dickheads.

Then you find someone who is sitting the same exam as you, and they're frantically reading something over and over. Red flag goes up and i;m thinking to myself "does he know something i don't?"
International asians always seem to know the about everything from exam content to redtapes to get a consideration of disavantage. Well we ARE dodgy, there's no denying it. here i'm studying like a true SUCKER.

Well now that i'm worried whether i neglected that area and start questioning my own preparation is sighed "Fuck em, i'll be fine."
And when i sit inside the exam what do i see? The exact area that bubble of pus was studying for.
ASSHOLE! He knew! They all knew! Except for the Aussies and local kids like me.

I thought about changes i would make if i could indeed run the show at Caufield Racecourse where our exams are held:

- People caught reading notes 10 minutes prior to the commencement of the exams will be desanitized with a fire hose, hair shaven, numbered, desexed and segmented into men and females and made into chow in a foccacia oven and served with chips and a salad.
- failure to turn the mobiles off in the exam means instant death. (By beheading or rifle range)
- Replace the elderly examiners with Jessica Alba lookalikes (for... inspirational purposes)
- People who are constantly cough be bagged and gagged.
- You are allowed to leave 10 minutes before the exam finishes.
- Picking your nose while i'm trying to conjure my best answer is an immediate FAIL and subsequent 50 lashers per booger picked, uneducated pusbag. Use a tissue is permitted.
- Unmuffled sneezes (not the wheezy types, i'm talking your asian father shaking the foundations of your house sneeze) results in being expelled, and a beheading if no tissue is applied straight after.
- Do not bite your nails if you come in late, loudly place ur crap on the table, then making the entire room listen while you spit the residue out results in the torture and deportation of family and banning of 6 generations and an additional 500 lashes by the subcontracted brick layers while having their eye lids torn and head restrained to watch the elderly former examiner in iron clad bondage who have be re-assigned.

-All those who do none of the above are awarded free sandwiches, a pass, an XBOX and a hug from the new examiners.

-Jay

p.s: I think i did well today.
p.p.s: Bean, thanks for the Case summaries "the director was in breach of his fiduciary duties because he packed so much awesomeness.. ". Just thought you'd like to know two things: 1. I couldn't use that case cuz i had no idea what u had summarised. 2. I nearly laughed out loud which would've rendered me open for 50 lashes.

Pictured: M. Bison (Bad ass) - Source: Wikipedia.org

I hate teh ARIAS

2005-10-23T22:43:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Powderfinger - These days ]

I hate this year's ARIAS.
Before i go on, i must mention there was pretty good performances from Grinspoon and Neil Finn (former Crowded house).
Finn performed a stunning acoustic revival of "Better be hom soon" to recently departed and ex-band member, Paul Hester.

How i got into watching the show, I recieved an SMS from Monin "Channel 10"

At that time i was happily studying my notes until i swtiched on the tele, and who did i see but Missy higgins.

God i hate Missy Higgins! I think i speak for NO ONE as i'm a clear minority who thinks her voice sounds like a cross between a bushpig and the sound of nails on a blackboard. Herald as "the darling of Australian music" which makes me gag.

She'd probably get my vote if she just sang properly.

I think it's cool she advocates the Australian music industry (not that we've had problems with Australian music as we do with the film industry) and writes her own music blah blah but i really think her voice is one of the ugliest to ever grace the airwaves.
Speaking of ugly, Ben Lee won a couple of notable awards for his one hit wonder "Catch my disease" which is catchy i admit.

Seems the world forgot about him since his last government inspired hit, "Cigarettes will kill you". Not suprised people wanted to forget him however hats off to him for trying; "you seem like nice guy". The Veronicas, please... EAT SOMETHING and grow some hips.

I know i might sound really negative, but i'm a big fan of Australian music. My shitty mood stuck when i saw (and heard) a voice even uglier than Higgins; Gretel Killeen. I can't stand her face let alone her voice. I tohught it would be safe to not see her until next year's Big Brother but i was wrong. Gretel, whose voice was raspier than a 500 kg yobbo was accompanied by David Hasselhoff.

"The Hoff" - is not cool in my books. I mean what the fuck is going on??? Seriously!

A washed up actor who hasn't done anything since a talking car and pamela anderson jumblies getting treated like royal. If i saw him down the street i wouldn't buy him coffee. I guess it's been awhile since the last famous yank visited this country.

Hopefully the ARIAS will return to normal next year with more Powderfinger, Jet, Living end, Grinspoon and less Idols and nail on blackboards.

-Jay

-David Hasselhoff. Weird, really weird.

YES! SCORE!

2005-10-20T15:37:00.000+10:00

Update on my last post.

I have scored my first HD, in the last subject too; Financial Analysis & Investment.

W00T!!!

-Jay

Some useless numbers in my life...

2005-10-20T12:14:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Powderfinger - My happiness ]

- I have yawned 4 times in the last minute.
- I have 6 pairs of jeans :D
- I successfully quit smoking for 7 days
- Have had 3 haircuts this year
- I have consumed approximately 3 boxes of cereal in the last month.
- I eat at least 2 packets of 'Mi Goreng' a week.
- 0 HD's this year :(
- Have less than 5 cents in my bank.
- Got 4 fines currently outstanding.
- Fines equate to over $1000.
- There is 4 pieces of dandruff on my pillow (oh GEEZ :( )
- I have 2 pimples on my face
- I have read over 100 pages of law in two weeks :D
- I have broken the D string on my guitar... twice.
- I have 5 movie ticket stubs lying on my shelf.

All for now.

-Jay

Monash rant pt. 2

2005-10-14T19:02:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Audioslave - I am the highway ]

I was talking to my friend, and i told her everyday feels like the last. My world feels so small.

I just realised in the past 2 weeks the only places i've seen is my bedroom and the matherson library... and so, here's a couple of things i think i definately need during my summer holidays...

- Get wasted
- Bulk up (fully shick)
- Take a long cruise to sydney
- Own myself on Krispy Kreme doughnuts
- Finish my canvas
- Finish my bedroom makeover, then move out (ha!)
- Play in a band with Maher and Gambino.
- Take a camera and cut sick
- Re-string my guitar and save up for an ibanez or fender electric
- Rule the world.

There, i think if i achieve half of that i'll be set for 2006.

and if you think i could write an article without mentioning monash, guess again.
If it's not Monash it's the stupid politically correct morons who waste our fee money on pointless causes. You sign a petition cuz you feel sorry for them. Now they're calling me up at 10am, i know bloody when the whole world is sleeping (my world) telling me Dick Cheny is a terrorist. I said i only signed up only cuz i felt sorry for him but he kept going... fine.

At this point i was up and grumpy, so i decided to hear him out.
Turn after turn i wreck the guy, on factual evidence i had from previous assignments and i said "what the hell r u on about mate?" after a moment to reorganise himself after attempting to bag the country, call his people convicts, say our statistic bureau is inaccurate, our government is an ass kicker (which i agreed on) and said the price of oil will kill our economy. HA!

One thing i was particularly good at was economics. I said i agreed that oil prices will eventually filtrate through to the goods and services but a hike in 50 per litre won't bring the economy down as a whole. I told him about the government stabilization plans (budgetary policies) that have been good with steady inflation but he didn't get it.

Moron! i didn't care. It was 20 minutes on a mobile and hey, if you have money to keep crapping on i'm not one to complain. People who write blogs and have nothing else to crap on about are losers :P Like me ha!

Well i guess my excuse to escape studying for 15minutes is up. I'm hungry.
The morale of this story: Next time a hippy wants u to sign up for something, tell him to get a job!

-Jay

Monash rant pt 1

2005-10-11T17:14:00.000+10:00

Here i'm eating at the meeting point at the campus centre.

I'm starving so i'm chugging down i don't know what the hell it is... it says hookien noodles but it tastes like carrot and msg.
I look around at the infrastructure and realise everything about this Uni is dodgy. The buildings are old and they don't fix them... the main building, the Menzies sinks half an inch a year, the escalators on 4th and 5th floor don't work which doesn't say much about the reliability of the lift.

I took the lift today, as risky as it was i guess that's the price of laziness.

Back to my disgusting meal... i barely get it down my throat thanks to condiments and a chicken piece which is more like flour.

Bitch bitch bitch is all i do... andp robably all i have until summer comes. I'm relieved to know i worked hard at everything this year so i can enjoy a holiday without regretting anything.

Only regrets is the 7 bucks i spent, eating the plastic container probably would've yielded more vitamins and essential minerals but that's my Uni for ya.

I've started listening to Zero 7, acid jazz of whatever category of music they invent everyday... It's pretty good and if you want a decent tune to go with your studies, download the track "Destiny" or buy their album.

-Jay

This is where i grew up.

2005-10-02T06:36:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Train - When i look to the sky ]

The exam period once again hangs over our head, and i can see that shade of gold that reminds me of summer.

It's been a hell of a hectic last 4-5 weeks and i've gradually worn myself out by trying to accomplish too many things.
Sure, it's a nice thought about one of life's lesson is if there's not enough hours in the day, don't think you can save the world.

Today is Sunday, the last day of mid-semester break and welcomes the final stretch of school which i've been neglecting.
I'm worried about whether i can catch up, and i've allocated my schedule purely to Uni... i know it's a nasty habit which most Uni students tend to share but i've been pretty busy.

I have accepted the role of youth ambassador for the Victorian Multicultural Commission; which means i'll have the input and the chance to represent the real situation of kids to people in authority who can do something about. It's pro bono means i won't be paying many debts or buying that leather jacket i;ve been wanting but i feel this is the right path for me.

Chalkboard is going well, i'm presuming after the whole exam i can really put my efforts into next year and plan the year after that. The comic is coming along nicely and with some luck it should hit the shelves by March 2006.

As soon as i see that, the biggest ambition of my life will be accomplished; should i be really lucky and it sells well could mean the firm continue what we love. Life's going pretty quickly i must admit, and half the time i'm not even sure whether i'm doing enough to keep up. there's a movie i've been extremly fond of, "Garden State" and the main character realises that life's what we make it and it starts right now. "This is my life Dad, this is it." - Andrew Largeman.

The movie scores a 4.5/5 from me so i reccomend it to everyone who needs something refreshing and truly unique piece of work that hasn't graced the screens in a long time.

I consider this the final gallop of 2005, like the horses getting the crap whipped out of them by the jockeys in the Melbourne Cup, this is it. Hopefully my chance to sit back with a coldie with my favourite cd on this balcony won't be too far away. This year i've earned it.

Speaking of balcony, here's the view from my place at 6:40 in the morning and i managed to even get a cameo of a morning bird.... worms for all of us.

-Jay

1 eighteenth of a second...

2005-09-10T02:51:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Record of Lodoss War OST1 - Kiseki no Umi ]

I promised myself today i would get some study done, but this week i've felt really mentally numb.

I handed an assignment 3 days late which has never happend before because i couldn't get my mind around a few things.
Currently i'm unable to really pinpoint the problem, whether it's me feeling immobile or it's the weight of everything from school to Chalkboard Studios.

The last couple of days i've kept a really reptitive schedule of home and school. Whether it's the confines of my tiny bedroom to the library is all i've been seeing and i feel like i've lost sight of the biggest picture.

I'm suprised how quickly life can catch up with you when you drop your guard for just a moment.

It's pouring outside, i can hear the drop crash loudy against the pavement so i wondered out and found myself in a catastrophic stiuation and the wind itself nearly blew me over.

The rain hit me as hard like cold nails, armed with my trusty tshirt and 2 dollar trackies i refused to go back inside.
I don't know why. I felt compelled to stay whether it was a hope to see something new or have something interesting happen to me i just stayed.

I didn't feel cold, not because i was numb but i felt fine. I gaze into the distance as far as my shit vision would see and i saw a bright flash in the horizon. Thunder.

It was incredible; as idiotic as most people i presume would describe i was completely spellbound by it's beauty.

30 seconds, FLASH... another 30 seconds later... FLASH!

It made me think about me, my life at 1 eighteenth of a second. The rain was soaking up to my ankles now and i thought about all how everything for that moment felt connected. I can't really descrbie it better than that i'm afraid but to say the least for my benefit i was rejuvinated. If that wasn't enough, a giant gust slapped me and definately put some sense back into my being.

I'm glad at least today was something different.

-Jay

loathe the ground

2005-09-06T15:16:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Audioslave - Getaway Car ]

Discipline. A word i'm quite familiar with in the last couple of days.

I sit at the 6th floor of the menzies in a perfectly summer like weather in winter. Tired, and dying for a cigarette.

The last couple of days i've starved myself of my old best friend cigarettes, i don't exactly know why i gave up but one day without motive or reason i just smoked the last one and that was it. It wasn't even planned for or anything.

The cravings have taken a dive and i find myself going without a cigarette quite easily. I walked through the corridor at the menzies where it's common to find a group of smokers lurching by the pillars and though the thought of buying a pack crossed my mind i didn't carry through with it.

Am i feeling happier? Not really.

Do i feel healthier? Nope.
Am i proud of myself? You betcha. Ironic when i used to say i would quit and now i have in a way. This time it looks as if i might quit for good because i don't really have a reason to get back on it.

I've started to take some initiative, and i read some of the hand outs mark gave the guys at chalkboard 2 weeks ago and it hit me what most of the things i wanted to change about myself or the world around me isn't happening so... there. I've done something about but i'll ride it out slowly because i don't want to get my hopes up if something doesn't happen.

Ive got my phone with me so i'll try and upload a shot of what i'm doing as i speak. You can see the top of the laptop and the anti-suicide bars.

-Jay

winter wonder morning...

2005-08-20T07:37:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ The Corrs - Radio ]

It's a drizzly morning and i got about 3 hours sleep and i'm buzzing. The clock just struck 38 past 7 and i think it's a great chance to catch up on my studies and some stuff about the firm because i have a 21st to go to in about 12 hours.

I got back from Nate's 22nd, and it was a refreshing feeling to see some faces i haven't seen in about 2 months. Glad to see that everyone is doing well, and it reminds me it's one of those faces, the smiles that never change when everything else does.

I haven't left the house (in a social meeting) for about 2 months and really i think it's time i just ... went out!

Finding transport there is tough, more than i imagined with only 2 more weeks to go with my license suspension and i'm back into gear so i had to call upon a favour from Hanz. As always Hanzel is always happy to come along despite his disinterest in asian night clubs but we both agreed it's tiem to meet up with "the boys" again.

One person i was glad to see tonight is John. Big John, everyone's big brother and as always he gave a warm reception. Needless to say Nathan was drunk when we arrived but later when he got his birthday cake in the face (thanks to John and Aaron) we had a small moment where we realised it's been a year since i sat in that chair and it was his 21st.

I told him time changes thing's but it's been years since we have moved on our own ways yet the people are still here who care about him and looking around this made sense to me too.

Lately i've been catching up with a lot of high school people. One example is Mina, and i haven't really had a good chance to know what he's been up to and we spent about 3 hours outisde the Uni cafe talking about old times and the new.

Winter is coming to another end and i anxiously await summer. This year has definately been a busy one and i can't wait to just drop a couple of weights from my shoulder and take a walk on the beach. I feel i need that inspiration to get me into 2007... the thing i was missing for this year. Come to think of it, i haven't touched the beach at all... :
I have compiled a list of what i'm going to do during summer:

-finished my half-arsed bedroom renovation and consider (with Mum's approval) to completely do the rest of the house.
-paint my massive canvas i got ages ago with oil instead of acrylic.
-get together a temp band and play for a live crowd in a pub.
-go to the comedy festival (i refuse to miss it again).
-take a long scenic drive, destination? Doesn't matter as long as there is road, supply of food i'll be right.

For now before i work myself into a frezy i gotta finish what i start. Which is Uni and Project Pilot.

-Jay

Wedding Crashers

2005-08-17T00:07:00.000+10:00

Just got back from watching "Wedding Crashers"

Yep, a hilarious movie, the characters were written well and the directing was cool.
I dislike Will Ferrell but thank god it was only a cameo.

The story is about two best friend's who've inheirited a secret technique to party for free, drink free booze, lay women and socialize by as the title states, crashing weddings.

A wedding goes horribly wrong as one friend lands a creepy, kooky and "leeching" girl played by Isla Fisher and the other mate falls in love another. I don't really want to spoil it as this kind of situation often leads into a disasterous result with funny results.

4/5

-Jay

Plan, Organise, Lead and DESTROY!!!

2005-08-16T00:28:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Record of Lodoss war - Kiseki no Umi ]

Drained. Tired.

That's what i'm. But tomorrow will be different. I spent an hour looking through EVERYTHING that needs to be done and though i'm a bit behind i'm certain i will come out fine. Why?

I'm sick of doing half-assed stuff. Especially uni. It's week 5 and i still think it's week 2. The fun stops here and i'm going to make sure everything is done because i just really wanna kill these next couple of month.

The title comes from the earliest management theory on manager behaviour "POLC" as some who done commerce might remember. POLC stands for "plan, organise, lead and control"

I'm apply this simple abbreviation into my life, instead of control my future which is the ultimate goal anyway, i want to completel annihilate it. The smoking has come down significantly and i'm getting hints from my body that if i press on and set a date it will be ready to give up on nicotine too.

I've gone days, even though i really want to smoke when the time passes and i find myself doing something else i'm fine. I keep saying i will quit but i'm slowly getting there and there's a point where i WILL just put a stop to it. All those who don't have this nasty habit i don't expect them to understand how hard it is.

My firm is coming along well, and week by week we are getting more refined in terms of how we operate and what need to be done and looking back some might say we did shit all but i see the real progress into putting the effort and time into thinking about it, planning it and making it happen. Start something as Omer would say.

That's enough for me. Tomorrow belongs to me.

-Jay

Shoe string...

2005-08-09T04:15:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Live - Turn My Head ]

It's cold and it's 17 past 4 in the morning.

My head seemed a bit troubled. Physically i feel drained and can barely open my eyes but my brain won't stop buzzing.

Today was my day of redemption and i screwed it up. I had the cmic thing on the weekend and i promised i would use today to catch up on my studies and i didn't.

I did try to do some questions but the words to me didn't make any sense. I would read something and it just would'nt register... so i settled for lecture note reading, my excuse for being productive.

Starting today i'll slowly try to nurture my health back to normal with eating patterns that is normal.
I'm gonna put a stop to telling myself i'm some sort of a superhero that can whizz by on 5-6 hours of sleep...

I just want this Uni degree over and done with. Just so sick and tired of it... exhausted.

It's just that lately, thing's just don't seem right.

Thing's haven't been the same since Aunty lisa came here and stole pictures i had up on my wall. Feels like everything i'm doing is crumbling. Jenny and Mum are asking me to help out with the rent and i of course have nothing..

I can't even pay my amenities fee... i feel kinda hopeless...
On top of that there's of course the credit card and the tax which i gotta pay back. The only thing keeping me smiling is my tax return which i calculated could ease visa for a bit.

I've noticed i'm a bit moody as well... which means there's more strings to tie up.

So many loose strings...
I might tie as many as i can this week but it's hard to get around without a car (do tax return, buy groceries, go to school) and i feel stuck having to ask all the time...

One thing that i'm looking forward to is Vito and I have organised a mini laser tag in 2 week at the grange. Today was the first tiem in years feeling young at heart again.

When your 22 and you start forgetting stuff like that i think that's when you do hit rock bottom...

-Jay

B-Day +1

2005-08-01T20:07:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Audioslave - Shadow of the sun ]

Well im sitting here in the caufield library trying to catch up on my hw.

After the events of last night, Mum has bought me Mi Goreng from the shops because i think she understood she was being a bit unfair.

I'm glad i didn't crack a hissy fit.

Today i just chilled at home, playing my guitar and made pancakes for Grace who is unwell.

I'm currently waiting for mark to arrive so we can study together.

Busy is probably the best word i can use this semester which is great bcos i always have something to do.

can't talk. Gotta work.

-Jay

Happy Birthday to me.

2005-08-01T03:47:00.000+10:00

Yep. It's that time of year again. No it's not the tax return but equally as depressing... it's my birthday.

Nothing planned for this year.. Yesterday Mark, Omer, Jover and Monin came over and we cooked tacos and bought 4 boxes of ice cream.

Chow and Cat swung by and watched Star Wars : Clone wars.

That just pretty much says i'm a nerd. Sad.

Today we had the first production meeting and covered some good ground, i came home to find there was last night's dinner. I asked my Mum to make Mi Goreng and she told me no and swore back at me...

Usually i would really get upset that she refuses to do any motherly duties but i said can that be my birthday present? And obviously i got a no.

This kind of thing i expected to see at the movies with a character that is unbeliveably nasty it's fictional. Well, this is my Mum and fiction is never out of the question. Just made me feel sad for her actually...

Too numb to care right now, but i went to get KFC with Monin and i just got home.
Birthdays are for wussies. *sigh*

-Jay

Dutch Masters

2005-07-23T23:48:00.000+10:00

Dutch Masters Exhibition

When? 24 June to 2 October 2005
Where? National Gallery of Victoria
Cost? 15 bucks.

Info at: National Gallery of Victoria

Went to the Dutch Master exhibition at the gallery today with Karen, Sara and her friend Annie (or anne.. ?)

It was really wicked. Why?

At first there was a lot of typical portaits, much like the mona lisa. The attention to detail was immculate and every stroke of oil to canvas is immaculate.
Problem to me was the subject matter. The transcrib boxes said some things like "...given a erotic connotation" and it was just a lady looking at you doing nothing explicit. Maybe that's how "erotic" was back then, i don't know.

All i know was i didn't care too much. After seeing 10 odd portraits my enthusiasm slowed. So i tried concentrating on the stuff around the figures or how the subjects were positioned. Nothing. Colours were dull, lifeless and same could be said for the expression. My feedback: Rich 16th century blokes and gals smiling while a professional artist worked their magic. Once again the actual painting ARE amazing... i started to question how free these masters were able to work... seeing as their works did not hint signs of self concept, aspirations and interpretation.

I started to understand they worked much like in Star Wars, apprentice and master so much of the masters technique and "eye" was handed down to the pupil limited self-thought.

But i said this exhibition was wicked didn't i?

As the exhibition went on, the world of these masters opened up. Landscapes, using the flawless eye captures the life of commoners, towns, buildings right down to the last leaf on a tree. I could actually "feel" myself in a world that is not remotely close to modern times... beyond the sea merchants and rich pompous men with their family (going back to the portraits).

They were farmers, the buildings were crude and some works it seemed as though man and mother earth lived as one as there was no works depicting war and conflict (even though i'm sure this occured but the artist chose not to do this.) Facinating.

Self concept? The gallery answered my question as these artists thought about the value of their science and technology fabricated ingeniously with human skills, realising that death is a part of this "balanced" world.

Go see and feel this experience.

8/10.

---

Life is Beautiful.

Masterpiece. Perfectly written, directed and acted. Reminded me of "Caberet" from an italian flavour with the subtle insertion of the Nazis but no music and no Liza Minelli (music i don't mind, but liza minelli? God i hate her)

The story follows Guido (i think? Translation might be wrong) a man, a father and a jew in the time of nazi occupation in italy.

His imagination, creativity and charisma are the ingredients that kept his family bonded together one of the world's darkest eras.
It a movie that brings back the theme of "love conquers all" without the corniness and crap we are fed by hollywood.

Humourous and heart wrentching. I won't watch this movie again because i cannot bear some scenes that will rip me into pieces. Truly powerful.

A must see.

9.5/10

----

I will be updating Karen's visit in the seperate post since there will be photos and all that... I'm outties.

-Jay

Semester 2

2005-07-21T14:54:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Audioslave - Like a stone ]

Looking at my unit outline for my semster 2 i feel like i have a real chance of doing well. The course work doesn't seem so hard as long as i put in the effort.

Academically i didn't do so bad last semester considering the exam timetable... i was told i could apply for a special consideration but it's 2 weeks too late. You live you learn i guess.

Right now i'm sitting in the Matheson Library with nothing but banana peels and a coke next to me. I swore to myself i would stay here and learn, i have but i accomplished that in about 40 minutes and i'm bored shitless until my next lecture which is about another hour away. With my phone barred cuz i cant afford to pay my phone bills i'm in a bit of a rut at the moment. I hope a casual job or something will help pick things up...

The comic project is just about to wrap up pre-production as we start to move into production which is goign to be really exciting.

I watched Sin City the other day with Pete, Monin, Karen, Omer and Mark and i thought the movie was pretty cool... the only thing i liked about it was it was black and white and how the stories tied in with each other.

I liked also how they made the movie really ficticious but the downside was the deliberate and crap acting from some of hollywoods best which is a shame.

7/10.

I'm bored, i can't even write a blog properly to fill time in... I'm gonna smoke or something...

-Jay

I hate macs.

2005-07-11T00:12:00.000+10:00

Why?

I've been spreading the word lately about how good Macs are, trying to get people to get Mac's because how great their OS is, how reliable it is and how ever so pretty it is.

I feel so betrayed like a bad break up, and I want to come crawling back to Microsoft but I can never show my face there again.

WELL! Mother fucking piece of shit....

I had written a REALLY long blog. I was about to post it when the mac died on me. This happy message with a grey background saying I had to restart just came out of no where. It was conveniently displayed in 2 other different languages which made me furious. Then there was a nice picture display with the "power up" sign was in the background made me want to throw this laptop against a wall, imagining it smashing to pieces made me smile.

Like mac's way of saying "sorry dude about this abrupt mistake in our OS, but to make it better we've put this in other languages and pretty graphics on the back"...

Here's my reply... FUCK YOU.

Fuck you and die you fucking cunt.

Imagine if I was actually writing something more important, like my script, my assignment do I have to always save after every sentence now that it feels like this grey screen might appear out of no where when you aren’t doing anything suspicious. Christ I'm not even surfing on pornographic sites... (yet) so what's the deal?

No messages telling me i should save my work or the mac doing it for me... just a convenient "you need to restart"
and no amount of key punching, swearing can change this.

For fucks sake it might as well down turn off. I would've felt a little easier.

Anyway... besides my point of MAC ARE SHIT DON'T EVER BUY ONE...
My original post had more of the following:

I'm unwell. I have a virus and I feel like shit.
The firm is well.
Mum is in Sydney.
Cousin Karen is coming down from Sydney.
Batman 9.5/10
Mr & Mrs Smith 7/10
Steamboy 4/10.

And finally. I hate macs. I resent my mac...

Arseholes, I want my data back. Can i be bothered doing the full movie reviews again?

Yes, but probably on a Windows OS. Fucking cunt.

-Jay

2005-07-07T13:08:00.000+10:00

Meeting 1: The beginning of Chalkboard Studios

2005-06-30T21:22:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ The Get Up Kids - Long Kiss Goodnight ]

It's the kind of period in winter where the winds stay at bay and the land welcomes the thickest blanket of fog that looks like you can cut it with a butterknife.

The air solidifies your lungs with each breath and street lights flicker like candles.

Towering giants that once were sky scrapers becomes shades in the distance.
Not a creature stirs.
I light my cigarette and disturb the silence.

Sacriligeous.

My shivers for an instant, my taste and sense of sight feels numb.

Am i dreaming?

I'm sitting alone in the dark, my companion fizzles and there is nothingness.

I don't feel afraid as i usually am in a similar situation nor do i feel lonely.
Cold but not freezing i stand there admiring my nothingness.

Distortion goes through my mind, captivated by this silence that is as certain as the call of death but still nothing.

If death sings such sweet lullaby then surely this isn't so grim.
I blow icicles, twirl them with my tongue as the smoke dances, it floats away disappearing with the rest of the world.

I'm not bitter. Am i?
Wooly jumpers, chocolate in a mug made in a country far away become my most prized possessions.

The marshmellows bounce in the chocolate. As if it were something to celebrate.
But it is!

I have found space. My space. Surely this is heaven!

The choir of angels sing my song and my marshmellows respond.
I love a winter wonderland.

-Jay

Phew wat a ride!!!

2005-06-28T12:39:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Josie and the Pussycats - Spin around ]

What a weekend!

The firm just got back from an awesome trip at Buchan caves (info is at the comicminutes website).

I'm just flatout these days trying to get this firm off the mark, no pun intended and i feel energised to do so.
I do wish sometimes i was healthier which means eating more and smoking less but the time (and money) doesn't seem to permit it right now.

I've been thinking lately to get a job to just help make ends meet with my credit card and other expenses but i'm worried this'll affect my school and my business.

Generally, all i good and i feel great. The trip gave me exactly what i needed. Busy busy busy for this year and bext year i reckon.

-Jay

One step closer...

2005-06-21T07:56:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Star Wars OST - Across the Stars ]

I've writing for 4 hours straight. I had a shot of cuppucino earlier after watching Batman with Jover, Ted, Omer, McMahon and of course Monin (which i gave a 9.5 out of 10)

Currently, we're at the writers crunch period where all of the writers in the firm has decided to complete the initial draft before we head up to the caves for a personal touch to the story (as well as visually).

We registered the business earlier this evening with the partners and i have been writing since. The character's have come alone and i truly believe this feeling will allow us to produce really good work. Everyone is hush hush outside of the firm but we are expecting result within time and on budget.

Of course, none of this will be possible without the efforts of the dedicated individuals who persue this as passionately as i'm and for that i'm incredibily lucky and thankful for.

I sometimes wonder how extremly rare and fortunately for me to have found friends who want to also break the paradime and do something different in their lives. They are the most warm, unselfish and artistic group of people i've ever met and i'm given the oppurtunity to work along side with them. How lucky of me.

I must add however, this continual lack of sleep may have sideeffects on me in the long term and in the short term a burst of incoherence and mood swings. I hope they will forgive me in time as i have sort of notice a slight change in my behaviour like i'm saying something before i speak.

Nevertheless, we have a job to do. I feel like i have to complete it now and writing this blog is wasting my time. Caffeine, really evil stuff but everyone at this age and this lifestyle will say the same.

Until next time,

-Jay, sleepy pansy Jedi Knight

Star Wars personality test

2005-06-19T06:42:00.000+10:00

I'm the greatest jedi knight of them all!!!

YAAAAAAAAAY!
Thanks to CJ for this test.
If anyone gets jar jar binks i will no longer be ur friend.

-Jay

numb

2005-06-15T03:08:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ GT - You are here ]

Man, it's been awhile since i blogged i know.
Lately i've been feeling really numb. I lost my license for 3 months (ending Sept) and i haven't been out or anything since most of my friends have sitll got exams and i'm flat broke.

I think i passed my exams; i can say i studied pretty hard this semester but knowing monash i'll get shitty marks. I'm worried about what might happen if i fail anymore.

Worries. So many worries. The firm is doing well and we've run over the capital budget yesterday even tohught we're technically still in "intermission".
I just feel really bummed out... i need to really recharge myself again and i think a trip to the city or a stroll down the gallery will be a eye opener.

Naturally i save all the best updates for last and that is i got a new apple G4 powerbook laptop. i LOVE IT!

Once the firm resumes business u can trust i'll be there brandishing ye olde faithful laptop ready to conquer the comic industry ;)

Now there's wishful thinking!!!

Anyway, back to vegging out.

-Jay

im ugly!!!

2005-06-08T13:41:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Placebo - Special K ]

I haven't spelt in 2 days. My eyes are baggy as, i have yellow teeth and i have accumulated extra pimple friends.

*sigh*

I hate Uni. I still reckon it's bullshit i have an exam on the first day and i finish 3 days later with the other 2 subjects. This was epxected though but i'm finding it really tough at the moment.

God i'm hideous.

and and... yeh.

zzzZzzz

-Jay

STRESS?!?!?!?! WHO'S STRESSED?~!?~?!~?? ME~!?~?!?~

2005-06-03T23:04:00.000+10:00

D'AAAAAAAAAAAARGH~! IM GONNA FAIL!

*BREATHES ERRATICALLY*

...

*cries like a baby*

These practise exams papers are uber harD~!~!~!~
WAAAAAH~!

-Jay

PANCAKES AND ICECREAM!

2005-06-02T22:40:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [Portishead - Numb ]

My made her uber delicious short stack topped with syrup and ice cream!
3 more days t'ill the exams... go i'd better get back to it.

Everything's been very stressful and boring but the music, cigarettes, coffee and pancakes arem aking it better.

Until next time.

-Jay

p.s: I dont care what u think Cat, Ryan is homo! I hope he dies. i hope the entire crew dies!!!!!!!!!! ... hmm that was a bit evil wasn't it?

I hate the OC

2005-06-01T20:30:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Van Morrison - Moondance ]

I hate the OC.

I saw an episode and i concluded i'd rather gouge my eyes out with an ice cream scooper than watch that filth ever again.

For all the OC lovers out there, stiff shit but i stand my ground.

In summary here's 3 reasons why i hate the OC:

1. It's fucken stupid
2. It has the ugliest fucknut as a lead role, Ryan.
3. Ryan.

Every episode is like a masterpiece of brilliantly crafted written in the formula of Melrose Place but for Dummies. For the sake of character dynamics they'll add a new character to get "bicycled" around before kill her off when all the original characters have already slept with each other.

Kudos for the hot lesbians that suckers in the ignorant males audiences to watch before of two half naked babes go at it. I'm sure they're keeping it "real" as most lesbians weigh more and outclass me with hair in my wildest nightmares. Tool.

The entire plot is about rich spoilt drop kicks in sunny california in a province called the Orange County. Thhe plot takes a twist when "bad boy" Ryan feels attraction for the hot lesbian. Cutting edge stuff story fellas.

I feel sorry for the chick, no really i do.
For her to even get remotely close to his saturating sly presences makes a walk in the amazon a piece of cake.
Let's cut to the chase shall we???

It's his face.

I hate his face. His hair resembles Donald Trump, his armpit hair makes the portuguese man 'o war look like a plaything and finally is his fucken smug sonova dumb twat face. FUCKEN DIE CUNT DIE!

My favourite episode is where i go to Ryan's house, "sneak like a ninja" and lay the runniest, egg filled turd my sphincter has even done in 21 years. Using Ryans array of stylish "bad boy" singlets, rub that Tusson RIGHT THERE and secretely sneak back out.

When 'ol chum ryan return and before he has a chance to question, "I don't remember my bed to be yellow" I'LL RAM HIS COCK UGLY FACE INTO MY STOOL!

Game over.
.Fade to blade with credits.

--------------------------------------

"And the winnder for this year's Academy Awards for "BEST OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE".... goes to... oh i can't believe it! JAY! For his work on the OC in episode "006:Yellowfinger""

*Standing Ovation*

Ahh... i feel much better.

-Jay

2005-06-01T20:15:00.000+10:00

Take that!!! "KAPOW!" BAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHHA

Crunch time

2005-05-24T02:34:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Etienne de Crecy - Tempovision ]

Soup. Maccas. Cigarettes and lot's of books.

I've layed out what i have to do in order to finish this semester with results i can be proud of hopefully.

The firm is coming along really well with expectaions and result far exceeding what i had hoped for. Everyone is working extremly hard to bring our dreams into reality especially the Vice-President Monin.

He seems really burned out and i can truly understand why. Perhaps of all of us he needs the break the most, and i might resume some responsibilities for awhile.

This will be my last post in awhile so i'll wrap it up with Mum and Jenny are good.
Happy Birthday to Mousey Lauren!! i hope you liked my painting (i'll post it up when i have time)

Shout out to my firm, my uni friends, friends of old and friends to come! :P

Until next time.

-Jay

2005-05-23T12:49:00.000+10:00

Allan Lim, Jedi Master...

2005-05-23T02:09:00.000+10:00

"I didn't say stop!" -Homer

2005-05-23T02:00:00.000+10:00

Allan, Lauren and me. NO I'M NOT DRUNK! Lousy asian 1 beer go red crap :(

2005-05-23T01:58:00.000+10:00

Rebels without a cause. Jk. A pic of Ton, Lisa and Me @ Lauren's 21st.

and the final verdict...

2005-05-19T03:20:00.000+10:00

If you have to see one movie this year, it's Star Wars.

The wait is finally over and was it worth it?

You bet.

And it's not because I’m a die hard Star Wars fan, far from it. I stood with the majority view that the first prequel was an over-played rat race and the second was a political mumbo jumbo of madness. I loved the original trilogy but i demanded my time and money back after seeing the first 2 prequels. My impressions were sack the art department, sack ILM and the saturating special effects and bring back my Star Wars~!

It would seem Lucas has finally redeemed himself.

After spending bloody 20 minutes of watching almost every bloody movie preview that's about to premier in the next 2 months and slap an additional hour wait for the good seats the movie finally started. (Though Batman looks like a good contender of movie of the year, i will award the no bullshit, no fuss, non-celebratory award that pisses all over the Oscar called the "Jay").

Initially after watching the trailer a couple of days ago I thought "hmm cool, Lucas has gone old school with their hair styles" and true to my word, Obi Wan is a ugly mother f#%ker. Thankfully due to the incredible acting talent and lines by Obiwan you can almost believe the two were the played by the same guy.
Anakin bears the same 70's "boof" as seen in Luke Skywalker which i thought played a real homage to the original platform.

The "feel" of the movie was very much like the older versions when the movie opening with a space battle that resembles the ones in episode IV. Fast paced and action packed it's a sight that sets a new standard of space battles. What really impressed me were the internal designs of the space ships. Very old school, especially the blockage runner with ancient 80's dials and lights. Nostalgia and consistency is the word.

The scenery, fight sequences and special effects didn't fail to impress either. At times I felt there is so much going on around the environment it was hard to take in all at once.
That's the underlying question isn't it?

Lucas has often been criticized over the years with the failures of the first two movies by going over the top with "rad" designs and expensive computer rendering.
This movie makes up for it.

You see, the costumes, set and the acting is superb. I will mention Hayden Christensen has also redeemed himself as he gave a moving performance along with the rest of the cast which makes this movie believable but there is one element I have yet to mention.

The magic behind this is telling a wonderful story. Everyone who knows Star Wars is aware that Anakin becomes Darth Vader and the republic falls into the hands of the empire we are very familiar with. My futile attempt to ruin the spoiler with my previous post is an example of that.

How it happened however, is the believability not because of inevitability.

For some strange reason Lucas struck a cord and there was many instances where I felt the dilemma of Anakin Skywalker. All of a sudden, the bratty little twat in Episode I and the cocky and well natured (not to mention monologue) teenager in Episode II is now a Jedi Knight who is faced with making a humane choice.
That’s the key.

I believed everything this movie was throwing at me, for instance Anakin says goodbye to Obiwan as Master and pupil, friend to friend for the last time before they face each other again as enemies as genuinely real. Another twist I picked up on is the Emperor’s love for Anakin which reflected like a “Father and son” theme.

All of a sudden it’s not just about purple lightsabers, stupid and annoying Gungans and medichlorians and other trivial space crap. It’s about the characters and this time he got it right.

The lines are rational and logical. I personally believe will become memorable like the original trilogy.

The movie becomes very tense almost unnerving (when you see the Younglings scene and the fall of the Jedi you will know what I mean) and to the point where I can say tragic, dark and depressing!

The little twat gets used, betrayed, burned and incased in a hollow suit is not my idea of the original Star Wars family values theme. This is definitely intended for the mature audience as the movie becomes sadistic and brutally violent. The ending doesn’t serve justice but that’s the point!

It welcomes Episode IV by ending with the note that there is such an imbalance in the galaxy and we can finally understand why Anakin became Darth Vader which provides a new dynamic to a once hollow, malicious and feared character.

There was scenes that I thought was not necessary at first in particular the Wookie’s home planet and the re-introduction of familiar faces but I suspect this was to ease the tension and the pace of the story. Like the other movies, lame quirky comic relief is also included as part of the package.

This movie strike the heart cords of film critic and satisfies the fans with a ‘bang for your buck’ conclusion. Personal and powerful it will continue to inspire and entertain not existing Star Wars fans but the generations that will follow.

Lucas has truly given the world a treat with his epic that took decades to complete but will be enjoyed for many more to come.

Best 11 bucks I ever spent. Don’t really want to watch it again I admit, the emotional nature of this movie becomes too overwhelming but I remind myself in Episode IV Luke makes it better and that makes me sleep well at night.

Spoken like a true geek and I’m damn proud to be one today.

10.5/10.

-Jay, Jedi Master

STAR WARS EPISODE III : Revenge of the Sith

2005-05-18T13:39:00.000+10:00

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

Listening to: [ Star Wars - Opening ]

STAR WARS - EPISODE III
REVENGE OF THE SITH

AFTER THE PRESENCE OF THE SITH BECAME KNOWN
IN THE MIDST OF ATTACK DURING THE CLONE WARS
THE NEXT FEATURETTE WHICH EVERY LITTLE NERD AND GEEK
(INCLUDING MYSELF)
HAS BEEN WAITING FOR IS FINALLY RELEASED.

FOR THE SAKE OF KEEPING THE STORY LINES UNDER WRAPS
IT'S BEST NOT TO MENTION THAT ANAKIN BECOMES VADER
AND POPS OFF A COUPLE OF BABIES...

THE NERDS AND GEEKS OF THE WORLD UNITE!
HOMEWORK IS OFFICIALLY PUT ON HOLD

-Jay, Jedi Master

Clan [pL]

2005-05-15T05:46:00.000+10:00

I had a really reflective night tonight.

It was one of those evenings that u reflect on what obstacles u had to overcome to become the person you are today.

Having said that, i settled for a Heinz Chicken, 'taters and vegetable soup with 4 slices of toast. Brisk.

Then the most bizarre thing happend, i was chatting to monin and he was like "guess where im..."

I said "is this a trick question?" and he replied with "im sitting outside the step of my house... i dont have keys and everyone is sleeping and i dont want to wake them..."

... wireless internet. I would have to admit that the word "strange" doesnt describe this well.

Anyway, we were talking about company names and one contender is "red hat bunny studios" and i said some of the weirdest names became one of the biggest clan in CS back in the day.

I started this clan in CS when i was in my high school day called "pl" which stood for "pig little". Stupid name, aweseom clan. By the end we have over 26 members and had zero losses in our clan matches. That in geek terms means we were a force to be reckon with. Glaven mmmheygen!

I tried to remember all the clan members... and i admit it was a really good time in my life but school obviously went down the crapper. (The guy who invented the toilet is John Crapper btw, trivia ;)

In memory of those who put up with my dictatorship rule and had an awesome run for our money this post is dedicated to you where ever you guys are now.

==== [pL] PIG LITTLE ====
[pL] Loki
[pL] DeViLmAn
[pL] FuZZ-BaLL
[pL] PuppeT
[pL] Enigma
[pL] Epod
[pL] Asuka
[pL] Terminator
[pL] Mayhem
[pL] CheckMate
[pL] sj
[pL] citizen-x
[pL] ToFu <- me :P duh!

I got a call from epod like 2 months ago, telling me he was coming to melb. Thanks to Epod, original member who was loyal and dedicated to the entire period.
I cannot express my gratitude though now it's too late and we've all probably moved on but seriously it was a really fun and challenging experience.

Thanks to Adz, who've kept in touch with me over the years and Sarah who's been there for me on and off screen.

I hope you'll treasure these moments like i have.

[pL] ToFu signing out for the last time. Beta 4-5 and 6 wouldnt have been so fun without you all. God Bless.

-Jay

strung out

2005-05-14T01:15:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Stan Bush - Dare ]

I downloaded the Transformers movie soundtrack, unfortunately for me, this uplifting OST won't do justice and helping me believe i can do my tax assignment.

It's 100% pure bullshit and the cunt who wrote it should be hung by the balls.
I'm so frustrated. The entire thing asks all the students to make ridiculous and unjustified assumptions, meaning going to the ATO sites and reading extra curicula cases to justify our claims.

Fucken bullshit. There's heaps of discrepancies on the figures and i'll be damned because whats the point of doing it for 10 hours and only getting 2/10 when i could concentrate on the 90% on the exam?

So far here's my reaction to you BTC3150 (Taxation Law):

FUCK YOU

Have a nice day.

-Jay

i wanna make a supersonic woman of you!

2005-05-12T01:40:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Queen - Don't stop me now ]

I feel like i'm on the "right" path and everything right now feels so right in my life.
Sure i occasionally catch a afew snags but i'm exicted to know i'm finally doing what i love and everyone is having a pretty good ride :)

The comic firm is coming along very well, we're making excellent progress and we've recruited a new team member.

I won't reveal too much on this site.

My school on the other hand has slipped a few notches but i intend to sleep immediately after this post as i've got a meeting with mcdonalds for breakky tomorrow with Monin.

I'm going to see a exhibition this weekend and i'm pretty excited about that.
I've never felt so comfortable with life as i'm now... and that always puts a smile on my face.

Oh, Happy Birthday shoutout to Mary!!!

You're finally 21!!! Thanks for being an awesome friend, it's been a long ride and a priviledge to know you. Don, you have to take care of her okay? :)

You guys were awesome and i had a great evening. It was great to see a lot of familiar faces at your party!!! It reminds me of how thing's used to be... and i haven't felt that way since our days of high school running amock.

Keep smiling Mez, cuz when u smile, everyone smiles.

-Jay

Wakey wakey

2005-05-10T10:44:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Groove Armada - My friend ]

It's 3 weeks until exams. Stress....
Not the whole preparation thing but my exams are on 2 days after my last class...

Unbelivable.

It's 10:45 and im about to go into the city and have a nice cuppa and get down to business tonight with the comic society and my assignments.

Coffee... my friend.

*burns lip*

D'Argh!~ You mother fuc--

-Jay

Piff Puff... PICKLE!!

2005-05-09T02:18:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Jamiroquai - Corner of the earth ]

I'm the worse son in the world! i didn't get mummy anything.
I plan to take her out this weekend when the whole assignment period is over and hopfully she'll forgive me after her scrumptious meal.

The comic book is making excellent progress and i'm on track with my assignment.

Tomorrow i'm waking up xtra early to get maccas breakfast!
Finally, a reason to wake up :D

Until then, keep it real homies.

-Jay

Extra chunky Jiff

2005-05-06T01:17:00.000+10:00

I stepped in dog crap today thanks to Monin's guidance. Monin and i were sipping out hot chocolate as he walked me home from his place...

It felt so squishy... and i walked on thinking "hmm, could it be what i think it is?"

We stopped, had a sniff... turn on the mobile light and my worst fear was confirmed.
Looks like wet mud, smelled like Allans ass at a terminal distance.

Fucking gross.

-Jay

hmm...

2005-05-04T07:56:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Portishead - It could be sweet ]

Alright!! i broke the habit of sleep late and waking up in the afternoon :)

I even made toast! :D

Uni wise, it's been pretty good... been trying to stay back and work whenever i can and the comic is coming along well.

It's Mary's 21st this saturday and i haven't gotten her anything.
*Yawn* i could've slept in for another 30 mins :
I've been listening to the Portishead ablum for the past 2 days titled "dummy".
It's friggin awesome...

-Jay

2005-05-02T08:48:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Portishead - Roads ]

I can't believe im up this early. I've been listening to the portishead album and it friggin rocks. Thanks Brendan!

God my throat is killing me. HELLO WINTER! (yoooou mother fu--)

-Jay

Know thy self...

2005-05-01T02:19:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Room 5 - Make Luv ]

Tonight was one of those nights where i wonder where would i be without them.

Grace struck up the idea of being true to one's self no matter the consequence and i believe she struck a core... and it scares the living day lights out of me how i can say to so many people to do the same... live beyond your means but at the same token not be truthful to myself.

I guess that's why over the last year i haven't been honest to the people i had or have feelings for... and tonight i knwo why. Rejection.

I can't stand the idea of rejection and that's why i never had the guts... problem now is that i know my problem... what am i going to do about it?
It scares me because it shakes my very foundation...

How i wished i was a little more like when i was in high school. Confident and stupid. But the confident part was cool...

Know thy self.... interesting

-Jay

Let's keep work and personal life seperate shall we?

2005-04-29T04:40:00.000+10:00

Well, it's not exactly "work" per se.

It's more of play :P

But from now on, all posts regarding my comic progress shall be made into

http://comicminutes.blogspot.com

Thanks Monin for creating this. Unfortunately, i cannot reveal too much into what happens but it's like an online diary of the progress we're making.

Feel free to email me or msn about questions you may have. Toodles.

-Jay

Pre-exam schedule

2005-04-28T17:34:00.000+10:00

OK, i gotta knuckle down.

My exams are fucked up, they're on immediately following week 13...
:(

[] Burrow MGC assignment 2 references (4 needed).
[] Draft up MGC assignment.
[] Start Tax Law 'black book' Case and legislation summaries.
[] Start Tax assignment
[] Review business finance and start practise papers.

If i don't get these done, i shouldn't even bother attending the exam.
Full speed ahead!!!

-Jay

cold and frosty evening...

2005-04-27T01:57:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah ]

Summer is officially over... finally.

Coincidentally and ironically i had my first solarium experience. Thanks to Jae.

I doubt i'll be going there again anytime soon... i feel black already.

I love the winter, red noses, hot coffees and blankets. This is the season where i can sleepy sounded and comfortably.
I checked my timetable and it seemed that time is not on my side. Busy busy and i feel bad neglecting everyone for the sake of progress.

Life's lonely at the moment but nothing to complain. Just wish i had a job... wouldn't be too bad to have some simple pleasures.

One of my past-times and escapes from reality is just cruise. Even petrol is too expensive... the next couple of weeks if definately going to be hard so i'd better stock pile on the instant canned meals and knuckle down. A krispy kreme right now would'nt be too bad...

-Jay

2001: A space oddysey

2005-04-25T03:35:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ RHCP - Soul to Squeeze ]

Tonight i witnessed the crappiest movie i've ever seen.
I had built up a big expectation of the movie that was dubbed "the best science fiction movie of all time" and all i say is i felt like i could never be happy again.

I acknowledge that the movie had an excellent set, lighting was good and the shots weren't bad. However what was bad is the excruciatingly long sequences.

Makes me never want to become an astronaut. Felt like raw documentary and even documentaries hire what is called an 'editor'.

The special effects was good and the themes of human evolution was interesting. HAL (the computer) wasn't bad either... the time it took for a pod to dock killed me.
I would say i have patience but this movie is absolutely ridiculous.

Worst movie ever. I watched this at Gappers house with Monin and felt like i had to indulge in Nachos and cigarettes before i felt back to Earth again.

It's a perfect tool for assasination training (as i felt compelled to murder something afterwards) or a psych ward for those who have seen the entire movie.

Monin notes it's something they should play for criminals in jail. HAHAHA!
Studying tax has never felt so 'fun' compared to this movie and i use the word very loosely.

-Jay

Welcom to existance...

2005-04-24T17:33:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Switchfoot - Dare you to move ]

This month has been a quick one. It's the moment of the year where life is moving like a roller coaster on the decline. Rapid and blurry. You blink, you miss it.

The second meeting of the comic writers society was a big success.

Thank you to MArk, Trucey and Tuyet who came to see the show. It was a pivotal moment i think because now we have organisation and structure, each person knows what they have to do. The first project titled "Pilot" is coming together really week. The team is fired up and we are focused.

While everything is beyond what i had initally anticipated my school is a bummer.

I was pretty sick this week and i had a stomach virus. The fever didn't help.
I've promised myself i'd take this long labour day weekend to catch up on taxation law and business finance. It's coming to crunch time with all the assessments due in a couple of week and before i know it, it'll be the exams.

Don't blink.

-Jay

Here we gooooo!!!

2005-04-18T03:31:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [Jimmy eat world - For me this is heaven ]

What a tremendous week. I've never felt like i've done so much in sucha a short space of time.

It was Tuesday and all was "normal" until i had recieved a call from Sunny my cousin in sydney. The rollercoaster ride started from there and it has only been about 20 minutes i hopped off.

I knew something was up when Sunny asked "So, wanna do something tonight?" that indicated he was in melbourne. Thanks for the pre-landing call for preparations but everything i planned almost went straight out the window.

Sunny is a really good kid who is going through the stage of teenage angst and a lot of bad decisions. Understandable i thought because i went through the same.

Admitedly, i believe i was far too impressionable to even realise i did anything wrong at that age where Sunny came to seek my advice on trying to get the most out of a really tight situation. He has a good heart that is overlooked by his disappointed parents. I pray he stands his ground because the world is a really tough place especially when u are percieved to have something to prove to earn your keep(?).

Anyway, the much anticipated meeting of the minds, the inaugural gathering of 'comic writers society' went really well on Thurday night. It is an event that i have been planning for a while and i was glad to see it starting to take shape.

Thanks to Vito, Brendan, Sunny and Monin who attended.

At the Airstream Cafe, i laid out my plans about really coming together and leave out mudane tedius lifestyles to take on the challenge on answering to our artistic calling. I know it was a big ask but the group responded well and sunny listened.

I proposed the ultimate outlook as a commercial venture in the late future where we can establish ourselves as a different firm trying to capture what we see in our everyday life into something fictutious and fun. I've told them there is no limitation to their vision and their genre and i've discussed some technical issues.

We sat through the cold and threw ideas at each other. The overall ambience was positive and i was really glad to hear that some of them wanted to straight right away! I reminded them it'll take a lot of effort and time before we saw results and they understand that.

Feels like we're sailing into unchartered waters and it's just really anxious amd nerve-racking to see what's going to happen!

This week i hope to sort out our pilot comic and try to go through some more ideas of what pilot it might be because we get nitty gritty. Monin has pointed out organisation and formal roles are needed which i agree and i hope to draw some sort of conclusion on that issue this week. Very exciting time to be alive right now.

Saturday, Happy 21st Birthday to Stephanie Whiteside!!!!

What a blast! Boat party on the Yarra topped by a game of Laser Wars at Crown.
It was definately a memorable night (that turned into day by the time i got home) and i hope i can upload some photos from the night. Today i managed to get some tax homework done thanks to Jae. I think i even learned a thing or two :)

So my plans for this week, plan this weeks meeting of the minds, study study study!
Yosha!

-Jay

OH YEH, SUCK ON IT!!!

2005-04-10T00:40:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Michelle Branch - All you wanted ]

I've caught up with revision and notes for business finance.
WOOT!

Now, for taxation law which will take me 10 times longer.
Finally feels good to be back in my game.

-Jay

HAPPY 21st PETEY!!!

2005-04-09T22:09:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ UB40 - Baby i love your way ]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIG GEAD!
About time your 21. U got done nicely.

I mentioned to Allan, "psst, that's how you looked in ur brithday" and being semi sober Allan replies "I KNOOOOOOOW!!! except i was worse"

HAHAHA!

YAY!!

-Jay

Instant Bacon!!!

2005-04-06T00:55:00.000+10:00

I laughed at this comic strip for hours... they're found at:

Click here

Thanks to Monin who really made my evening by showing me to this site.

Thanks also to ImageShack, for their awesomeness in picture hosting.

Here's a banner for their site... s'good.

-Jay

A lttle poem, by me.

2005-04-05T12:31:00.000+10:00

“Little Wing”

I have to do something,
My sanity is imploring me that it is futile.
Fruitless.

Down in the recess of my soul,
I have choked myself.
I’m gasping for breath,
I’m drowning in a sea of confusion.

I have gazed at all the mountains,
Walked the treacherous paths,
Been surrounded by all the gifts,
Mother Earth has given me.
Inside, I’m scared. Petrified,
Afraid.

I’m weeping.

My arms are wide open,
I’m grasping only cold air.
I scream as far as my voice will carry.
No one is listening.

Is this the pain of pursuing a dream?

My heart is crying out in anger to proceed.
I have waited for this moment,
For my entire life.

I stare at the beginning of my creation,
All along I know this is I.
All along the voices, that is now echoes,
Is telling me to be brave.

Carry me,
For I, cannot bear another instance.
Am I stranded?
Is this the frozen baron wasteland of hell?
I’m cold.

I give the orders,
“March!” and my feet reluctantly obeyed.
This is the beginning.
This is what is it means,
To be the person in my soul.

Jason Chung, 2005

"and when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it"

2005-04-04T01:59:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Lifehouse - Everything ]

The title is a famous quote from my favourite novel of all time.

"The Alchemist" by Paulo Chelo has always inspired me to achieve more than what i can see in front of me. This novel was given to me from my lovely cousin Avon.

At that time, i was still in primary school but i remember feeling so moved by the book.
I won't go into too much detail about what happens in the book but what i got out of it was the principles. I truly believe the most important thing about 'living' is to follow our dreams.

At last i feel at peace, i know where i'm and where exactly i want to go.

Yesterday, i was speaking to Brendan how i want to create an epic. Again, like my previous preject titled "Arthur's Will" the idea came to me in a mid-dream (where i'm not sure whether i'm awake or asleep) and i quickly jumped out of bed to write what i see in my head.

I've completed the framwork for my new comic project but i don't have names for characters or a title yet. I've run the idea by Chow and Sab which they've both given me their approval and both also noted the comic will be the "epic" i've been dreaming of writing.

I guess at the meeting of the minds in two weeks i have something i can put forward to the group. I've asked Chow to help me with some supporting characters and create the designs for the evil race... something that he's very good at.

Ths idea will have to be put on hold while Uni is on but i can't wait for the weekends when i can really get into my comic. It seems like such a childhood dream but story writing and comic making is something i feel i was destined to do. Let's just hope the universe gives me a little hand.

-Jay

"...a metaphor... but it really happend."

2005-04-03T05:16:00.000+10:00

Classic lines by Ben Stiller in "Dodgeball"

Listening to: [ Lifehouse - You're all i want ]

I don't know how, but an adult wasp flew into my room, doors closed, fly screen in place which called for the use of full force "Mortein".

How it got inside is a complete mystery and the thought of more gigantic, winged and stinged insects coming in is scarier.

All the excitement aside, is down to the nitty gritty. Schoolwork.

Three day's worth too i might add and i swear it better pay off! *shaking fists*

I admit being alone for a longtime takes it's toll on my sanity but i guess that's why cell-phones were invented.

I invited Chow, Gapper and Monin over and we had a great KFC feast funded by Chow. Heck, Chow saved a burger for Monin because he seemedoverly happy. Not the same can be said for Brendan as i drove him from his place where he was drinking (away his sorrows?) to a place where he can drink.... with me!

We later just hanged around my balcony to catch a cool breeze and from where i was sitting it looked like an album cover for a band i thought. A big thanks to Monin for the past couple of days for bearing with me as it definately helped in me keeping my nose in the books! Thanks old buddy.

Also, i've organised a meeting with old friends who i used to write and draw comics with in high school for drinks. I've temporarily dubbed the group as "The comic writers society" where we can peacefully share ideas and comments about our work. I will also state in this inaugural 'milestone' the purpose of the meeting; that is to band together and write kick-ass comics.
I also hope to discuss why i'm doing this, and where it might go.I think it'll be a good place to sit back and let ideas roll.

I have a good feeling about this one.

The society consists of Joverfish, Gapper, Monin and i'm trying to get a hold of Vito.

The venue will be selected sometime this week, i haven't invited Chow because of his playful nature and inability to take some issues seriously but primarily because he hasn't shown much interest in the story writing aspect of comic books despite Chow being a prodigy in the field.

Meanwhile, back to the books for me... with my mobile by my side :P

Breaking News: [ Pope John Paul II, has died. R.I.P servant of God, leader of people. 1920 - 2005 ]
I've lighted ALL the candles in my room and i'll say a little prayer. I did some research from my previous post about my ignorance from the Pontiff's achievements and he truly well deserved the title. Worthy of my weak-misguided Catholic praise.

-Jay

After the deluge of eggs, bunnies and chocolates...

2005-04-01T21:10:00.000+10:00

Listening to: [ Oasis - Wonderwall (live) ]

For most Catholics, Easter is a humble period where older Catholics remember Christ and kids eat chocolate.

I have to admit my whole life i haven't really made the effort for my religion...

this year is no different.

No, that's a lie. I would say i tried to connect with God in terms of understanding what it means to be a Catholic. I attended Church and i found it very difficult to tune into what the priest was trying to say. Sounded like old dribble to me to be honest where one minute he was talking about a little girl with a dog and the next is the annual recreation of Christ's final hour.

As confused as i was (like i said, no different from previous experiences) i did something that would be a first for me.

I just closed my eyes, and i thought about it for a moment. I have come to realise perhaps maybe in all the balony the priest was belting out was missing the fine point. I don't mean to critisize the Catholic community as i'm sure the hundreds of followers understood it's message however for me it felt as though i had to find it for myself.

Thoughts of why Jesus came to Earth in the first place intrigued me. The answer i could give was that he somehow believed we as humanity is slipping, If i remember my bible correctly it would suggest that everytime mankind screwed up God replied with thunder, water and all the elements that "Day after tomorrow" depicts.

Maybe Jesus applied to us as a human (the whole bleeding, other human factors) to us that in human form he isn't "perfect" as well.

I believe the bible in this modern age is mis-interpretted word for word and i accept that i live my life as a Catholic through the principles (a.k.a common sense) and just try to be good.

Speaking of good, i've almost caught up with my entire workload with business finance and hope tomorrown and sunday i can do the same for taxation law. I don't think i have any new news to reprt except i still owe the ATO a bundle, still employed, same all dancing all singing fuck of an idiot :P

Oh, Pope John Paul II ain't doing too well. Seems like a nice guy. Hope he gets well.

Well that's probably the first and last time i'll mention religion (until Christmas) but for now i have books to read and canvases to paint.

-Jay

better...

2005-03-17T02:09:00.000+11:00

I ended up going for a drive... i feel much better.
Got myself a 7/11 Hot chocolate which is cool at times like this and just went for a walk at Monin's old primary school...

I didn't buy a pack of smokes either... It was quite bizarre. I stopped the 7/11 Attendant and i he asked if i needed anything. I replied by saying i needed smokes and almost spontaneaously i said "no thanks" and walked on.

There's a first for everything i guess? Never happend before.
Usually i try to stay away from them, and i usually buy it later.
This time i really needed it and i said no. Monin asked me "why?" and i think i said something like i just don't see a need for them in my future. I don't want to die from cancer.

Anyway, I desperately need a vacation. Goodnight.

-Jay

it's cold...

2005-03-17T01:09:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [Green Day - Boulevard of broken dreams ]

Yesterday was good... today i had very little sleep. I woke up, forced myself to attend all my lectures... and did all my homework. But i've noted something...

I'm so fucken edgy. I can't stand it.
I feel so... backed up into a corner and sometimes am i smiling to escape what i have to do?

I owe $635 big ones to the ATO, who just out of no where said i have to repay heaps on 2001 back taxes. GREAT!
Speeding fines, no problem (that was my fault but i didn't expect to e pulled over at 4am just going 10km/s over)

All my uni books are on credit, i owe my aunty rego money and i have people owing me money. Money i never really lent to him and was never his. I feel this is a hopeless situation.

I want to scream and shout but it won't make a difference. I pray my applications for call centres and the CommBank falls through.

I've almost had it with my Sprinter. I can't even stand looking at it... i don't know why. It hasn't done anything to me... but i'm resenting my car... and im resenting myself.

I need a fucking walk.
I need smokes.

-Jay

work work!

2005-03-16T02:23:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [ 311 - Amber ]

I was talking to Petey earlier, and i told him that it feels odd having lose friends, social life, love life for the sake of school.

I wished there was more hours in a day but that's never the case. Nevertheless, i did manage to squeeze in a couple of hour of study time.

My eyes are puffy and i have nothing but lectures tomorrow. I feel like i'm finally happy... the thing's i'm learning is not just a minefield of words and numbers i felt i HAD to learn to just pass. I'm feeling like what it was like to be in first year again and have that hunger to just learn.

Though my emotions sways two sides... school and life...
School wins.

Coffee has become my ally even though i'm not a loyal drinker.

Chow has hooked up with Kat and i think iwas more excited about it than he was. Haha!
I've noted how much he's changed since High school and i'm truly proud to say he's happy.

I think Chow learned that he doesn't have to defend himself from the world but finally embracing it.

I have class in 7 hours. I'd better bag.

-Jay

Green like the fungus on my FOOT!

2005-03-15T01:50:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [ Will.iam featuring Fergie - True ]

I just saw a television ad that promoted electric lawn mowers and the selling point was that it (the lawnmower) is environmentally friendly.

"okay... whatever"

But it just occured to me. How can anything that uses a battery be green?

Electric cars, lawnmowers and Eva Mendes and the like are anything but green.
Especially Mendes who i would say is closer to red HOT.

Don't believe me?

Okay, bullshit aside let's think about where the electricity comes from. Yep, here in Aus i believe the figure is somewhere in the 7-80% of Australia's electricity is powered by coal.

And where does coal come from? If i did my homework right in grade 2; from the god damned ground. The issue arises when the average consumer who is generally expected to be a little be "green" in this day and age purchase electric products in retrospect of their nasty gas, petrol powered counterparts hoping when they go home they're saving the world one watt at a time.

Think again tools, cuz unless most people realise most electricity gets wasted as heat and sound while it travels in the power lines to recharge the god damned battery you're probably better off using petrol as i'm certain it shaves some energy loss.

What make me realise that "green" for vomit lawnmower is a fraud is the recharge time and official run time. It takes 12 hours to recharge the battery which is good for 1 and a half hours.

I read somewhere it takes 2 lumps of coal to send an email, and sending emails takes 2 minutes right?

Let's get the facts right, 70% of most consumers who have a stupid electric Earth saving lawnmower will be using approximately 1440 coals to fire up their stupid mower (using 2 lumps of coal for 10 minutes of electricity).

So take 3 moronic vegan, tree hugging planet savers who buy into this fraud of a contraption and like to save the world by keeping their gardens nice and green as their only hobby at the expense of our planet they are trying to save means 4320 pices of coal.

Given the popularity of stupid Toyota's and Hondas saturating the market with crappy electric vibrators with four tyres they call cars the figures for a greener planet seems pretty grim.

Electric cars are a doomed project from the beginning until our own Stephen Chow discovers hydro-fusion.

Wanna save the world?

Buy a petrol lawmower that uses 100ml of Earth cancer liquid (aka petrol) until tools realise electricity doesn't make a difference and probably does the opposite.

Trusty petrol.

When the power plants go down, who do they turn on to reliably power our city? mini PETROL guzzling generators.

I think it took 20 lumps of coal just to write this blog (it is true btw.) so i'm doing my bit. For all those who've bothered to read this crap article of no true reference (but i think i'm close) my 2 cents you've also wasted electricity and ur life. Kudos to you!

Ahh, the world is a sweet place. This is Jason Chung reporting, goodnight and suck my wang.

Tools.

-Jay

p.s: Jessica Simpson is the ugliest stuck up mole and i hope she gets hit by an electric car while crossing the street with Paris Hilton. We don't need people who's pebbles in their million dollar malibu mansions have more personality than they do nor do we need electric cars right now.

Free again

2005-03-13T20:15:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [311 - love song]

What an awesome weekend.

Just got back from my smoke, i lit two tealights and watched the sun set. There was nothing but bliss and tranquility and it seemed as though the Earth stood still.

I just sat and watched the birds flock back to their homes as a cool breeze swept through what was a warm day. Today was one of those days where it was hot but not so extreme with the humidity playing a low key.

Earlier this week, i was nothing but stressed. Homework was not up to scratch and i had recieved a letter from the Australian Tax Office saying i had to pay back $635 odd dollars of past taxes.

Another crushing blow to my already depleted financial resource. What makes it worse was yesterday where Chow, Catherine, Sara and myself went to the moomba festival.

We ate at a really nicely furbished modern chinese resturant and then watched the fireworks. I've seen many fireworks before, yet last night i felt as though it was my first time. So i said to myself "fuck the world" in defiance of my worries and misery and just settled down and smiled.

We then got together in a bar away from the thousands that swamped the local bars and pubs in proximity to the moomba festival and just say back and really unwinded. I think the person who unwinded the most was Sara who got more than she bargained for when she ordered her "tropical fruit drink" that tasted like 100% alcohol. Kudos on her for finishing it despite my offer to get her a new drink.

The kick start to my studies have been excellent. Although there's always going to be hurdles i feel like i can do it. I feel finally happy.

There was a documentary about Antarctica on Channel 7 and it has inspired me to paint/create something that will inspire me to one day step outside my shell and see something as beautiful as an underground glacier and mountains upon mountains of wilderness. I thought about the people i'd choose to accomany me but i have realised many of my friends have come and gone, for the ones who've gone i sincerly wish the best for them. You all know who you are and somewhere i'm probably thinking about you guys. Always.

I've finally found peace. I just have to keep up the ante for my studies and see where the wind takes me from there.

-Jay

ACTION WANG!!!

2005-02-11T01:59:00.000+11:00

BAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHA!!!

http://cgi.ebay.ca/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=5955271616

I hope people get to see it before the bid closes.

I'll take a screendump from the site so it'll forever be remembered.
It's deinfately better than some of the lame jokes on ebay like empty baked bean cans for sale and jars of nothing.

I've put the item on my "watch" list and plan to make my killer bid sometime this week.

Listening to: [ Daft Punk - One more time ]

Okay, well i definately reek of bread and sweat... it's disgusting.
Good news to finally report, Mum is at home and resting after 5 days in hospital.

I was glad to hear the assistant manager at work ask how she is... he looks like he can definately dish out major pain be was really sensitive about it.

Things have been relatively quiet and i've been allowed to continue my course. I'd better not fuck it up agian :)

Last and not least; Chuc Mung Nam Moi!!! GUNG HE FAT CHOI AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! (for us, by us) >_<

-Jay

2005-02-11T01:51:00.000+11:00

Raggety Randy: The best collectable doll EVER! As actions as action gets.

Canvas 2

2005-02-07T01:50:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [ Maroon 5 - Secret ]

I've started my second canvas. It's a beautiful lazy sunday evening and after having one beer i got started.

I'm expecting ben to rock over and phungy but he decided to stay home in the last minute.

My room at the same time is nearly completed and thing's seem to be going well. Mum is good colour and it was just really relieving to see her smile. I never realised how strong she was, and how much she keeps fighting.

I've decided to make things as easy as possible when she gets back home. Yep, that'll include vacuuming and laundry. I'll leave the cooking for later :P

I remember the time i cooked dinner and it was well, let's just say no dog will eat it.
She's going for tests later on today, i hope everything will be fine and i pray to God he keeps her safe because she needs to experience at least something good in life. Perhaps i'll delay my own trip and donate her a nice holiday?

The canvas is coming on nicely and i'm going to continue doing it...

-Jay

Mew!

2005-02-05T01:46:00.000+11:00

Here's my kitty "Mew"!

I drew this cat about 3 years ago for my friend (who now owns a real cat bearing the same name)

and since i've lost the original; here's a revised picture of my virtual cat, Mew.

-Jay

Mummy :(

2005-02-04T13:49:00.000+11:00

Mum's in hospital.

She's been there overnight now. It started 2 days ago where i thought it was a stomach bug or something she ate because at first it looks like a nasty stomach ache.

She went to the hospital and got released the same day.
The next day she went to the toilet and blood came out...

My friend said his father (who has since passed on) suffered the same symptoms and he has cancer. I feel petrified, worried and i can't eat.

The doctors are examining her today so later i'll find out exactly what it is. I'd taken today off work to see her and the manager doesnt seemed pleased but i don't care about that right now.

I pray to God that he sees her through.

-Jay

judgement day

2005-02-03T01:29:00.000+11:00

Watching: DVD [Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban]

It's raining, and has been for the past 18 hours.

The dry lands really need it and i need it for some sleep. The same time it feels like some burden of mine has been washed away but i'm trouble by one.

My letter arrived from Monash today. Looks like i have to see the board.
I'm extremly petrified, simply because i feel determined to really have a good go at studying this year. I hate the idea of not being in control of my life and i don't dare to even think what i would be doing this year if i'm not studying. This has re-affirmed my intentions of studying and really trying to better myself by seeing if i can accomplish something that is not exactly easy.

I'm starting to realise this is what i want and not for the benefit or namesake of my family anymore but rather for my own benfit and self satisfaction.

I'd be lying if i said i wasn't a little depressed and said if i had someone to talk to.
Speaking of which things between me, lam and helen still has not been resolved. I've given up on Helen because i'm confident being with her new man she won't give a stuff about me despite what i'm trying to do. 3 weeks without a single word has put off any chance i have to say "hi, want to go for coffee?" but rather feel bitter and angst-filled about.

Lam is not returning calls or attempting to re-connect. I feel like there might've been a good chance but im assuming his attitudes haven't changed as well.

Hmm let's end this on a good note before i really start to really hate everything.
I hosted a bbq for the car club (toymods) and it has paid off. I was really glad to see people actually participate in my ideas and things went off without too many hitches (i made a mistake of trying to lead a cruise to a beach which i didn't know the exact location but only HOW to get there... people weren't happy about that) but overall the day was extremly fine and i bought along Sara.

One thing i really like about her is that she is willing to try something new, i had told her it was a car orientated bbq and not having to know anyone she came along and she told me she really enjoyed herself! Kudos to you for venturing outside your comfort zone!!! Besides, Alexia and Jenny love Sara.

After the bbq and cruise (to the beach, reminder to put up photos) a small group just headed back to Springvale where we ate rice and not drive it. Afew more left after that and the remainder at this point was Chooney, Ben, Ronald and Lex who just chilled at my place.

I should get some shut eye, i think January was a really good month and i'll try to keep my head up for Febuary.

I pray i make it through on Tuesday for a start.

-Jay

"yooooooush" (japanese for alright!)

2005-01-15T04:09:00.000+11:00

listening to: [ nothing ]

I bought 4 blank medium textured canvases today.

I'll definately have to write that uni letter by tonight or tomorrow and get that police report from the actual police station because after turning my room upside down i can't find it.

The sprinter crew showed up and tried to help me with my room earlier this afternoon but they advised i needed concrete screws for the wall mounted single board shelves (cheap ass ikea!)

But eh, nothing to complain.

I've got rice and bought myself a drift button for my sprinter, or should i say e-brake slide inducer and put a friend's company logo on my rear window.

It was a good day just to see how the sprinter guys again and had another cool cruise with CB radios. Chad called yesterday after i thought he disappeared from the planet and we catched up... seems his little beast has blown a clutch. (his roommate is so hot! but i'm definately not her type.. aww)

I've started writing pieces for my comic book again and hopefully get the foundation right and begin writing my first draft by this month or next... it's gonna be big!

Grace noted the other day i was really negative on a few aspects on my life and by God she's right. Ever since the aftermath post, i really took the time to realise i've never been so happy...

I no longer feel sad, bitter about anything.

Lam is one issue that was bothering me but in all good faith i now optimistically hope we can be aquaintences again and go from there... there is truly no sense in feeling so shit.

Helen, the ball is in her court and that's who she is. She likes to have control over almost every aspect in her life and well i'm only a telephone call away... and again hopefully that'll have a positive outcome. She does mean a lot to me, and i really miss her but there's only so much i can do and respect her decision.

I was also very hesitant on new relationships in particular having another girlfriend again because ever since Ying i've never been quite the same. I wasn't sure if i wanted to put that effort in again nor was i ready to step out and just really open my heart up. Lately, since my eyes are more open than before and i can really see how people's attitudes are i know there's a really nice girl out there :D

This month i've sorted my annoying and ongoing cheque problem with CBA (god i hate that bank) and managed to also reduce my creditcard limit to nearly 0.

I've re-vamped my room, painted, helped out family, caught up with friends and did nearly 100% of the things i wanted in this 1 week off work. I never realised when you have such a short space of time to complete something and get off my boney lanky ass to do it... much can be done.

Next week i plan to take Sab (my newly acquired apprentice whom i see as a younger brother) to see new things he probably never seen or felt before. I want to help him in seeing his true potential to achieve what he wants in the future and ace VCE.

I've never seen such wisdom in a 16 yo before. When i was at that age i thought i was king dick, and what my parents, fmaily, teachers and ... higher authorities said were irrelevant. Sab is clearly different from his peers... and dispite the shit conditions of trying to become a 'man' in a teenage angst filled world with all this bullshit trends, expectations from friends, reputation to live up to; he has an undenyable under-dog talent and the brains to get there when his family, teachers lose faith in him. I only feel like i'm passing on information that was handed to me by figures i hold close to my heart when i was growing up.

Therefore, a big thank you to firstly:

Rui: My cousin, and one of the most intelligent, quiet achievers i've ever seen. His mind is contantly switched on, and his ability to analyse, interpret and use information is staggering. I feel very blessed to have such a kind person who've always treated me as an equal even when i was only a toddler and he was in parimary school. Rui gave me the ability to also rationalise and set thing's straight.

Without him, i would've been lost.

Avon: My other cousin on the other side of the role model spectrum who i mentioned earlier. The only ever person to believe in what i do, and what i can do with ALL her heart and has supported me since i drew something when i was 10 or something. Thank you again, my talent would've only gotten me so far if you had'nt told me i can go further.

Xin Hao: A wise traveller and the master of business. Reminds me of Rui, in the intelligence department however he was a great philosopher in his own right. Though, i haven't heard from him in nearly a year and i doubt i will ever see or speak to him again he showed me the world as it is. He teached about the nature of people and the world and how we as people can operate in our fullest potential to overcome obsticles faced by many. Most importantly, he taught my the nature of our own lives and basically meant never to stop trying as we are all put here for a reason. His philosophy is everything happens for a reason, everyone knows what they're here to do and even if you do not, you're still doing something. Every person we bump into and share a few words may be positive or negative and that'll shape us for a greater picture we all cannot see.
Perhaps my meeting with him, and my time spent with him and saw him as a brother helped me see the world and finally myself.

Well.. i should go... i'm getting hungry and this is getting long. Thanks again to everyone in my life... good or bad.

-Jay

Aftermath: Reflection of onesself.

2005-01-13T03:26:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [ The Corrs - Little wing ]

Before i go to bed tonight, i looked at the first canvas i ever painted.

I feel that piece was very powerful and turned out really well in how it expresses my emotion towards a certain opinion or stance.

I thought about everything that has happend, and i realise i'm more collected than i ever had been in my life. My new pro-found obsession is candles and canvas.

I'm going to make it my personal goal to buy tons tomorrow and begin my series of collections that basically expresses who i feel on anything. I'm a sentimental sucker.

The ability to channel how i feel at the end of the day makes me feel proud that somehow that's how i was feeling all along. I feel incredibly alive.

I'll post them ALL here as well as my new room when daylight hits tomorrow.
There's another note i thought i'd like to put down... a long time ago i was talking to my beloved cousin Avon (an incredibly talented artist in NY) and i was reading through some of her letters to me that she sent a long time ago. Basically always telling me i should channel my artistic vision and take it as far as i can go.

I still hold her very close to my heart... always. It was her that had always believed in me and what i did since iw as only 10.

Last we spoke i was in university doing commerce and just making money, doing something i hate and she told me to basically leave it and follow my heart.

I was naive and thought what i was doing at the time was right for me even though when i knew as time went by i hated office politics, i hated mercedes and their superficial bullshit... it would make her smile knowing she had been right about me all this time and i could safely say there was never a doubt in my mind what i'm capable of. I don't know HOW, but she knows!

Even a letter addressed to my sister i found written in 1999, she mentioned that there's something about my art and i should not hide it like her brother Manuel (Whom my middle name was named after.) and told Jenny to encourage me. I thought it was very enlightening and cute and how i desperately want to speak to her now.

I miss her as a mentor, my friend and my older sister.

-Jay

eventful...

2005-01-13T02:38:00.001+11:00

Listening to: [ Dido - Thank you ]

Who would've thought it coudl all happen in one day?

1. Room refurbish - COMPLETE
2. Met a cousin i never knew i had
3. Lam.

It was a sizzling day, and Chow and i when to find his torana with no avail. We then spent the rest of the afternoon furniture shopping and with his direction and my uncoordination (with help from my long lost cousin) resulting in a complete overhaul of my bedroom.

Finally i can breathe and keep my books and other assorted bits and pieces ready for my long study year this year.

I arrived home with my tiny car packed with long carboard boxes and out come jenny and she said "Yo Jay, here's Luke... our cousin from Darwin..."

I think "what the fuck" is a good response. But he's an awesome kid, and reminds me of Lester's younger brother arnold. Heh.

Lam also called me which i thought was weird... he was really pissed about what i had written earlier in this blog and responded with "anything i had to say, i should say in front of him."

I felt this blog was my personal thoughts and ideas i feel i have trouble communicating to others but from his perspective it would seem so.

I wrote that entry so long ago, i don't even really remember what i wrote... i was probably really angry about it... not so much these days because he and i met each other at blue and i saw in him the best friend i had not so long ago. I saw him laugh, joking around and carrying on like a child which brought back so many memories of my birthday when he was truly awesome and i always give credit when it is due...

It kind of made me miss him, but it's a stage where it could probably be the end of it and wonder why on earth we ever drifted.

All that aside and he directly told me i was a gutless wonder. We hung up; i tried to carry on finishing my bed frame and thought about what he had said for a moment... he was right.

I would say if i were him... it's pretty pathetic.

So i called him back (and luckily he picked up) and i told him straight up what i thought of him. (He's one of those people who's very honest and direct... despite he hates me guts right now it's an attribute many people lack) and i figured if he was direct like that... i should at least repay the same curtesy.

It didn't go well i think, but this time was the first time i was able to convey my feelings about the whole ordeal. I told him i don't hate him, i said i was sorry and basically how come we're like this. He listened well... and it felt nice it was the first time he didn't lose his cool and just patiently listened to every word.

I told him i thought he was stubburn and really selfish for not being able to wait, basically why is he so upset that i said wait a moment. He said we should have a drink and there he can really tell me how he felt that day.

It was the first time i really felt like there was something i probably didn't pick up on? Perhaps i might've missed a chunk of a detail because i'm VERY curious of what he has to say.

All aside, it was a good day and i've managed to complete another task i wanted to do this mini holiday i have before i go back to work. So uni, and perhaps plans to move out (right now it's not a priority) and i can go back without a worry. It'll be really nice also if i can sort this mess with Lam once and for all and the first time i think i'm through with all this bullshit snobbing off...

It's either going to be we sort it and move on or we don't ever see each other again.

From my perspective, i just to forget it ever happend. He IS good to the guys and he definately looks after them. It's a shame what happend came to this really.

I'm also pressured to find Chow his Torana, time is running out and i notice he lacks the motivation to find his car. Hopefully that'll be out of the way this week and i can finally get back to work on a positive note. We'll see how this all plays out... for once in my life i have my fingers crossed... too much crap has happend in 2004, this would slightly make up for it.

-Jay

One loose end down, 500 to go!

2005-01-11T19:15:00.000+11:00

Here's the painting i finished earlier this afternoon.

It's titled 'anything is possible..." as a dedication to someone who pretty much did the same against every odd in the past. This canvas is a tribute to her.

It was quite difficult at first because i had to figure the initial layers and what colours to use. The most fun part was i would say is the blend of different colours. I had an awesome time like i was back in primary school again painting anything i wanted.

Well anyway back to the painting, the colours i used was nothing too sinister (afterall, it IS a birthday present) but at the same time i wanted to create a dimension what would say it was very dry and desolate. I opted to go with the typical desert sand but i concluded red clay and grey trees are far more effective because my mum was like "why did you paint a dead tree? it's nice... but it's dead."

So i guess i had achieved my desired outcome. Once again, my logo i've kept since the days of "Ying" was the enduring green leaf. Which has now become my logo for my existance. For those who don't know, there's a MS paint with a potplant and a green leaf which symbolises rebirth / life.

Enjoy.

-Jay

2005-01-11T19:03:00.000+11:00

"anything is possible..." - Matte and Gloss Acrylic on canvas. 60cm x 45cm. - By ME!

Busy busy busy...

2005-01-11T04:36:00.000+11:00

Listening to: [ Maroon 5 - Sunday morning ]

Taking advice from monin's comments (Friday, Jan 07, 2005 --Ed.) <--comic book 'in' joke :P

I can finally move on to bigger things.

I have almost completed my present for helen and should be able to finish it within 2 days.

The middle layer of acrylic is on and the hard part is waiting for it to dry before i can finish up the middle 2 and top layer.

It's looking quite nice... i'll take a snap shot before i send it off.

Gracie's also been working on something and again her work looks very promising. It's a pity i don't get a chance to see her often because we are both working a lot.

Meanwhile, i've reviewed my room makeover and haven't yet settled on the colour scheme.
So far i'm leaning towards a light grey with a blue tinge primary and a darker variant for a feature wall (if you can't see it, wait a couple of days and it will be up).

The first piece of "furniture" as i would like to call it (something that Gracie clearly doesnt regard as furniture) is my "BLING BIN"

It's a stainless steel 'fully schick' bin that i think is ultra cool. One step at a time i think and what other great way to re-vamp the room than bloody "bling bin".
Other stuff on the agenda is to draft up my letter to Uni and find my police report (hopefully sorting through the shit stored in my room will be a start) and help Chow find his treasure.

Speaking of treasures, i've managed to get hold of a 4AGE (Red top, 100kw) head that will go into the shitbox. It's missing so many parts but nothing like a good project to be proud of when i finish. The head should bolt straight into the existing block with maybe some modifications required to the head gaskets, bearings and re-allocation of the alternator and other bits and pieces.

Without further adue, i now bring you ... THE BLING BIN! *followed by wave of loud cheers and applauses...*

-Jay

p.s: As a treat, i've changed the template to the blog for 2005 ;) (Not like anyone reads my crap anyway.)

2005-01-11T04:23:00.000+11:00

BEHOLD AND BARE WITNESS TOOO: My Bling Bin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (OWNS J00!)

2005-01-11T04:20:00.000+11:00

TWINKY!!!