happy valentine's day

i'm tired of being alone.

And the battle commences!

Listening to: [ TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me ]

The above is an awesome track reccommended to me by Dantan, although his girlfriend Marie would argue she was the original fan but just got there a little too late.

Anyhow, this battle of galactic proportions kicks off where Joe Fraser and Muhammed Ali left off.

With only 4 weeks of University life remaining my friend Duong and i have a bet.

Any cute girl we catch, we have to stare at her and the first person to break contact will lose the bet. With some convincing we're hoping to get a third contender: Waiyip Khong.

Hard for me to say this is my last semester at University. I haven't joined a club, i didn't go to a ball and i never really got into the Uni life (though sometimes i wish i did) but never fear! These final days of Uni will be a good one.

I will post the results of our match and the winner gets to force the loser to ask out any random girl the winner chooses even though Duong hasn't accept this as the prize... he will! ... by force :P

Holler out: Helen Le on her 23rd birthday. 9 years of being best friends, you are on hell of an awesome friend. I still owe you a birthday present and another bday shout out to Hayden Upton. The man of words never ceases to make me smile, a legend in his own right!

That's all for now.

-Jay

My torment

It's almost been a month since i've had a decent night of sleep.

Each day i hate going to University and i hate myself for not standing up earlier and doing what i really want to do.
No one really understands, especially my family who insists this is the best course for me but i die inside everyday.

University is a routine that i should've gotten used to a year or two ago, i use every excuse to get out of class or not study at all.

Often i feel depressed my life isn't going anywhere and i'm confident the skills i'm learning at the institution will not provide what i will need in the future. I'm haunted almost everynight of a vision, a possibility that could be there if i go for it...

In my eyes, i see success, wealth, happiness in doing what i can do best; that is to create.

Anything from photography, music, storyboards, advertising, script writing...

The thought of saving up for my own dark room or brand new SLR camera brings a sour smile to my face.

Sadly, it's a bit of a catch 22. If i go on with my Uni given my complete lack of motivation and focus i'll most likely just fail and repeat. Or if i just leave i will be branded a complete failure by my family (and myself) for not going that extra 10%.

It's hard to put down in words that i should give it a shot and just finish it, i just mentally blank out.
I've even resorted to asking Jenny for help in time management, study techniques but frankly she's not the support i'd hope for... or even remotely close.

Sometimes i wonder if this nightmare will ever end?

Yes, you negligent parent...

I'm sitting here trying to finish up my assignment that's due this Wednesday but today is definately not my normal Sunday.

Firstly, there's a little boy sitting inside a car who has been there for about a half an hour and upon my personal inspection (i don't knwo why i did) the windows are rolled up and his parents are no where to be seen.

I for one am not what most would call fit or suitable father's because i feel if i bought life into this world i'd be distracted and noth ave the time to care.

But, this really shits up me up the wall. For fucks sake, it doesn't take that much effort to take your sleeping child upstairs.

It got to me so much, i thought i'd tell the parent who is a woman who seems to juggle her finances like she juggles her lovers that it's illegal to leave a child in the public with no supervision not to mention it's morally wrong.

She told me that if she took him upstairs, he'd wake up and start crying. Whoopdy-fucken-do. It's what kids do... they cry.

I hate the drop kicks who live in the units next to me who have this seriously wrapped sense of rightiousness and values.
In their eyes, they don't think they're doing anything wrong.

I especially hate it when i find myself in a situation where i feel like i have to tell parents how to be parents. My point of view doesn't seem to phase her. Maybe a call to child services will change their mind... or maybe the junkies, desperately broke losers who have nothing to lose, the mentally unstable, the disabled, the hoons, the thieves, the 30 year old who rides a BMX sporting his "hip" bandana and wu-tang jacket will.

Secondly, if that's not enough, the neighbour on the opposite site of my street was alledgely bitten by a dog. The ambo's are now taking him away, with the dog no where to be seen.

So now we can also add a wild dog to that list too. Feeling safe in my fucked up neighbourhood?
I sure as hell am.

-Jay

the apprehensive move...

Listening to: [ Shawn Mullins - All in my head ]

This is one of those thing's where you get burned so many times but you come back for more.

Blogger, you've won this time.
I'll keep this one short and continue to just copy and paste off MS Word.

I celebrated my 23rd birthday and i don't think things can be any better.
It's a time of reflection, perhaps thinking back on some of the events that's really impacted my life.

My family, friends and that long drive that makes you feel like you have all the time in the world.

I get the feeling that no matter how fast i work, time always works faster and sometimes i feel scared that everything is moving moving so fast i'm being left behind.

I keep putting it off, but at the comic launch (i'll write the full article a bit later) reminded photographs are precious.
There was a wall on the back of the bar where the event was held... and i see us going through that period.

I remember questioning whether the project would ever see the light of day. I guess it did :)

If someone was to ask me what i would be doing sometime down the road of this crazy ride i would say playing my guitar on a little sand dune singing about the good life with my friends sitting around thinking the exact same thing.

Life's good.

Due for closure

After the last incident i've decided this blog will be officially closed permanently.

I poured my heart and soul for about 2 hours... writing about the highlights of the last coupel of weeks which put shades of colour into my black and white life.

I was really considering it prior to that last post and well because this blog was already on parole nohing makes me happier than to shut this fucker down for good.

I would like to thank everyone who've been keeping in touch with me via this blog.
When i get around to backing up my writings from the last 2 years i will deregister it asap.

Once again thanks.

-Jay

Landslide...

'Welcome back to the world', i said to myself.

Looking back, i feel whole again like i've found something i've been missing.
Not that i was really looking for anything in particular it just so happend that when one just let's all small trivial things go... the outcomes from that are rewards beyond any conprehension.

I knew it was a good break from school thanks for the Football, but there's so much more to it than that.

Chalkboard is finally ready to take it's first step into the real world. The comic is finished, and well everyone's just really glad we got it done. I never imagined we could all bunch together, set a job that we've never embarked on before with nothing more than a piece of paper, a pen and a bucket of dreams. Here we are today, with the final product sitting next to me thinking i'm the luckiest boy in the world.

But here's the deal that's been on the my lately... sure it's great to have my ice cream and to eat it too but that's so insignificant to what really happend.

I'm starting to really find the juice out of life, the cream inside the mundane biscuit, my diamond in a rough...

I've learned 3 lessons these last few weeks that i admit will stick with me for the rest of my life:

I learned who i'm: i reflect back on the events during the world cup. That was the first time i celebrating with the rest of my country, not because it's a sport but the values and everything we stand for. We are the free beings who believe that everyone has a fair side if you fight for it. What it really means ot be "Australian" and why i'm so proud to be a part of it.

I learned about love and the stuff that's in-between: I was passing though Monin's shop after securing a venue for the Chalkboard Photo shoot and i somehow ended up "helping" with the store because i felt like a idiot standing there while everyone worked. It was good to see a day in the life of a hussle and bussle city shop but what happend afterwards that really struck me. I met a street musician who was triyng to make his living. I leant him an ear and he played... eventually we started singing and it opened up my heart to all the people to was walking by. I closed by eyes and i belted out whatever i was feeling with my new friend playing...

[HERE'S WHY I WILL NEVER BLOG AGAIN]

What was written above was 10% of a "recovered post" thanks to the blogger server shitting itself when i try to post.
I've seriously had it.

It completely ruined my post... and urgh very frustrating. It's either cuz im writnig from a mac or safari.
Well here's a summary

- Awesome charity dinner, Geraldine Cox rules.
- Chalkboard for teh win.
- Fuck i hate blogger.

-Jay

Happy Bday to Grace, Chow and me.
Thanks to Vito, Monin, Omer, Hayden & Christian(sen).

World Cup Finals - 2006 - Australia v Croatia

WE'VE MADE HISTORY!!!! AGAIN!!!!

2006 heralds as one of our Nations greatest historical moments as Australia will proceed into round 2 of the world cup finals and personally one of my biggest highlights for my mid semester break.

A touch over 3 hours ago, in a match plauged by referee controversy, Croatia scored in the first 3 minutes of the game leaving the underdog Aussies fighting an uphill battle right from kick off.

I sat with my cup of hot soup, surrounded by my msn with many who are awake commentating through the game.

The penalty came around and Moore took it; GOAL!

The msn conversations errupted with mostly "OMG!! EJIFEWFJAEWIFJE~~~~~!!"
and left many of us who was awake to witness that speechless.

Half time and we were sitting our equilizer, relieved that Australia will make it through. I fired up my HR and raced to my local 7eleven for smokes... needless to say i was swamped with a large crowd how've put off snacking and cigarette essentials until half time... nevertheless i was emersed in green and gold including myself.

I raced home, and the second half just started.

If i had to sum the next 45 minutes up in a few words it would definately have to be "intense, breath-taking and completely at the edge of my seat".

And i wasn't the only one.

Why? Croatia scored leaving us to re-take our well deserved victory... penalty shots not called especially on a handball incident, red card for emerson and a red for a croat who was still allowed to play?!?!?!?!?

Bresciano, Aloisi and Kennedy were subbed in. Our attack force is complete and as soon as i thought "hmm, we could actually do something...."

a goal came in by no other than Harry Kewell putting us in fighting chance on 2-2. The rest of the match was purely tooth and claw as the Croats fought back and they indeed nearly succeeded with a few VERY close calls but it was defended.

10 minutes on the clock.... this is where i rememebered myself experiencing involuntary shaking... if i was 60 i'm sure my heart would've stopped. Yellow cards started flying, and so was the ball... the crowd on both sides in suspended animation.

... the longest 10 minutes of any footballer / patriot's life. Then... it was over. We did it. We didn't win the match but we won the war.

Next up, Italy. MY friend who was online at the time is a big fan of football but he's Italian... when i asked him who he went for in the next match he said "Austrlia man. All the way" and i was very proud :)

We're rounding the cheeering troops as we speak and i reflect back and it's funny that indeed we're all from different nationalities!
Palestinian, chinese, vietnamese, cambodian, filipino, italian.... I've never felt prouder to be who i'm. I'm Australian. :)

I'll also be there to see how we will develop over the years thanks to the Socceroos this morning. School kids might choose to play more football... and it might start a chain reaction where in 10 years time we will be a force to be reckoned with and i', keen to see us go through all the way with 30 odd years in the making.

This cup doesn't just represent a sporting event; it signifies unity, tolerance and respect for other nationalities and cultures and helps unify our world with peace and understanding. Something that could never be achieved with politicians and handshakes. If world war 3 would ever happen... it would take place in a football stadium.

Fuck i love my country.