Fujiwara Pizza Shop

Yep, delivering pizza for my uncle in my AE86.

The downhill ferntree gully specialist!!!
Yeah right!

I made 38 bucks tonight which could really comes in handy in this time of great need.
I calculated and it would seem i'm in ultra-debt and might be more-so because has asked to push for a more bigger and modern beach house. Not that i'm against it or anything but it'll cost 40 bucks each from Chow and i.

It was my first cruisey for a long time by myself and i've never really felt that kind of liberty in a long long time. Except this time i'm packin' heat and got 30 minutes to arrive because they got angry at me, the starved obese customers that is. They were really nice and i got 3 dollars in tips... YES!
I drove and i just felt so relaxed, i had crappy NOVA playing the (s)hits and watching the streetposts go by, and feels as though time just complete comes to a pause and there's a halt on everything. When i was driving i wasn't concerned about my assignments and reading i had to do for uni, life's careers choices didn't matter except this genuine feeling of bliss. It made me smile so much i almost started laughing, and i realise how stupid it sounds now and how "high" or "stoned" i might've looked a the time but nothing can explain it.

I'm sure i was a funny sight to other motorists who stopped next to me, seeing this idiotic asian in a "Pizza Haven" hat just laughing to himself, no handsfree ear piece, no music playing.

Most people would probably say "You're gay chung" or "Who cares?" Today's people around me disappoint me that they can't find happiness in the simplest nature. My reply to those would be well, in you're world you stress and worry constantly, althought i do too and makes me seem hipercritical, i've found my peace and moment where nothing hurts or affects me. Maybe i'm become arrogant but sometimes people seems the same to me, all the faces somehow resemble everyone else.

Back to reality and i was talking to someone close to me who alledgedly claims he has fallen victim to office politics.

Welcome to my world 2003.
Every word that came out and i could see that one of the worst traits i've ever seen is greed. It makes what was good people, well questionably good people insane and the extent they'd betray their own morales and kindness towards others in their own quest for success. I'm so sick of pricks in the working environment who'd just be real ... cunts cuz they are, to get what they want. Everyone want's something for nothing and when it goes wrong they always forward the blame.

fuck that, you fucked up you take responsibility. Perhaps those who've fallen victims to this bullshit understands exactly where i'm coming from; and for those who don't i say the same advice as i do to everyone else which is leave the person you are at home, in the office or work where it's a competition, you have to play or you don't win and become an emotionless cold shell.

Pity are those who seek comfort in dominating, shattering others dreams in order to reach ones own.
You're life is as meaningless as the people you hurt.
I'll be damned the moment i truly befriend someone like that. Why am i so introverted? Well i guess i've found my answer. I guess psychologically, i'm less likely to be receptive to new people because i fear they're like everyone else. Urgh!

Pfft anyway,  i got a letter from VicRoads and i shitted myself because i thought my sneaky mother would open and see the fine i got, but it was a renewal letter regarding my full license. Nothing reminds you better that you're an old fart than you full license. Gotta sleep now, work at 7am tomorrow with Lam.

Money is hard... life is hard

-Jay

Thank the lord for normality

The venue is booked.

No road rage, no annoying people, no dramas.
Yep, it's perfectly quiet and normal... though i should'nt adjust because shit always happens to me.

The only worry is the bond amount for the beach house has not yet been deducted from my credit account but they've assured me if anything goes wrong they'd give me a call.

I sent a few more invites today, in particular the uni group and i hope they can make it.

Being in a good mood i've taken the liberty of getting rid of that pointless poll with a new one so vote people!

Let's see, what else.
I did trry to study accounting again (that is accounting from first year uni) today and well it wasn't as easy as i thought.

I'm getting old. 21 years old and my memory and ability to learn stuff is... what's that word... nevermind.

However i did at last purchase credit for my phone! My days of being a cheapskate is over, well for the next 2 weeks at least. I felt especially bad yesterday when i met up with leonie for lunch but i left my wallet at home. I arrived late which is bad because the poor thing only had an hour for lunch and because i was really stubborn and trying to be all macho and stuff offered to pay for lunch.

She said "stuff it" and insisted that she pay and i got next week's tab. Lined up at the comm bank's ATM (which for all those who know is really long at the clayton campus) and when i finally got there... put my hand in my back pocket and... nothing.

SHIT!

Boy did i look stoopid, and it had to happen to me. Le was nice to shout me lunch but i'm determined to pay her back cuz this guilt doesn't rub off. Which reminds me that i owe of the other guys coffee in particular; Lam, Chow and i'm sure there's more. Sorry fellas.

Nathan's been calling; the first one was funny.

"Umm Jay, can you umm... teach me manual over the phone?"

Not exactly the most ideal or logical way to learn manual nevertheless i think he got the car rolling.
Second was today

"Umm Jase, i need your creditcard details to book a flight back to melb."

Props (praise) to his superb organising skills.
You'll be the death of me Nathan Hah.

Anyway, the stomach's growling and i gotta return lam and allans stuff.
I'll also try to mend my elite spellign and memory skills ... what's that darn word again?
Fuggit.

-Jay

 

Broken

I've had quite a miserable day.
 
Really dismal.
Uni was the same except it was cold and i spent most of the day by myself. I wanted to call out but i didn't want to bother anyone. Felt like i was back at Daimler Chrysler again.
 
On the way home; i gave way to a stupid toyota starlet and he accelerated really slowly and what made it worse was when i turned he cut into my lane. If only they had legalized the hand-held air to land missiles...
 
Feeling really shit i resorted to books where i figured i may as well learn something than be angry for the rest of the day. I made a call to the real estate agency to confirm my bookings and to my suprise all the nice places were booked in less than 12 hours. Just my luck.
 
Mum's going to really let me have it this month when she see's the phone bill because i had to make so many other calls *sigh* it felt really hopeless and i was about to give up.
 
The pricks at sorrento were not a great help and as a result i'll never book a holiday house there... so unfriendly "How old are you?" "umm 20?" "nope, can't stay ere mate."
 
Well fuck you then!
 
The guys at lorne are really laid back and damn friendly because when their places couldn't fit the required people or are booked out 6/6 times they've tried to re-dicrect me to other agencies or private houses to help me. I understand the place is far and as a result those who don't really give a damn won't come... but that's ok... i wouldn't want them there if they felt i wasn't worth it. I do plan to make this one really memorable evening...
 
Reactions from Jlay and Dit Lay really made it feel like it's worthwhile; because i haven't spoken to Jay in ages and his first reaction was "dude, i'm there!", likewise with Dave.
 
One thing i REALLY didn't appreciate was meeting Lam, Pham, Chris, Jay Wong for coffee and coping shit from Lam and Pham that i didn't invite enough girls. It's really hard planning someone on this scale and i really didn't appreciate what they were saying... Chow sympathized with me. Even though i know they're kidding... i just simply wasn't in the mood.
 
Reason was this grand scale party as i stated earlier was in tribute to them.. it's hard to be extremely enthusiastic when u cop shit like that for people you're throwing a party for. Fuck that.
 
Realising that my own haven today was hanging with Chow or having my nose in the books.. that's what i'll do tomorrow. Right now i've had enough of everyone's shit.
 
-Jay
 

Here we go again!!!

Here we go.
 
I've barred all my games, i'll remove toys and other unnessary items from my view tomorrow and yep, sadly the guitar will need to start collecting dust.
 
I'm too angry and tired to fail or repeat anymore.
I guess settling back into school is hard as people say but i'm determined to see this through.
 
I feel i'm falling further and further from my peers; but it's something i can control and pray i study hard enough to kill this semester.
 
Getting that pass is not my objective.
All seems good except realistically i've taken loneliness into consideration. I already miss being in the company of the boys because their rantings make you forget you even had problems to begin with.
 
I'll try and go to all badmington / table tennis sessions when i can spare it, and even unwind with coffee because it'll have a negative effect should i shut myself from the outside world.
 
I'm also very close to booking the beach house for my birthday and Chow has agreed to jump on and be the other host of the party. I doubt he has the motivation and enthusiasm to do anything but i'l see how much his 21st is worth to him.
 
The location appears to be up at Lorne approximately 2 hours from Melbourne. Here i'm aiming to provide the guests with an enviornment where they can unwind and just relax (there's a 2 night minimum stay) and it will provide me with the time to compose an interesting artinery.
 
I chose not to go clubbing or any other typical crap because i truly wanted to express my graitude to people over the years who've made my life great. I know there some people out there who i thank from my heart and for whatever reason due to work, being overseas and other of life's activities cannot be there but i promise when i'm making that speech; they will recieve the gratitude from my heart.
 
Anyway, the number one rule for this semester is to not procrastinate. So i'll end it here.
 
Soon as i confirm the place tomorrow, i'll make out the calls.
Until then, keep checking this site as most of the lastest info regarding my birthday will be announced.
 
-Jay

it's just one of those days...

Argh... crap

16 more days until my bday. I haven't even found the location yet, haven't done shit.
9 more days until my cousin Karen arrives for my birthday and there's no party (oh lord)
2 Failed subjects, and one of them is a core prerequisite subject.

Crap crap crap...

Oh yeah, my speeding fines, credit card bills... god dammit.
Dammit dammit.

I'll try and secure a location sometime this week.. as long as the place is secured, the rest will follow.
ARGH~!

-Jay

19 Days 21 hours and 53 seconds but who's counting?

Turning the big 21.

Tonight i was chilling with the guys at coffee and decided to head down to the beach.
I sort of phased out after getting my fair dose of dick and fart jokes and just stared into the horizon where all i could see was clouds and water.

It felt like years ago when i sort of chilled back with Omer down at sorrento and but of us just admired the moment. Except this time 'round it was cold and so many people were muttering.

It made me think what have i done since then, and i realised my birthday isn't too far away. A lot closer than i initially thought which was a month away. Counting down it left me with 19 days.

If i plan to give people 2 weeks notice, i need to get this sorted within 5 days.
Some strange reason, it doesn't feel special.
Sure, it legally allows me to drive as an adult but ... it's just nothing because i'm worried i will suffer tremendous financial hardship if this falls through.

Last year was more like my real 21st i suppose; all because of Ying. I'd like to thank her again if i could but i doubt that's going to happen.

I just want to see all my close friends happy. I was thinking since everyone has had their troubles and worries including myself; i want to be able to provide an environment where everyone could just settle down and relax.
Perhaps stare from the balcony of a elevated beach house and just smile. That's what i want for my birthday and i'll make that rule clear to everyone haha.

Of course i'm not trying to weasel out of getting drunk; the boys particularly have this grin when they are talking about getting me absolutely wasted.
I was thinking about hunting down locations tomorrow and hopefully i might find a jewel that is absolutely gorgeous and not take a snap at my wallet.

We'll see how things go.

-Jay

Oh geez, my head...

8 Bourbon and colas
1 Corona
and
1 Bicardi 151.

My head is still sore.
Yep, i was at Blue again. This time, i just kepy drinking. My usual starter would be a Corona, except this time the Corona was a chaser because Lam got me 151. (3 numbers that'll haunt me t'ill the day i die.)

At first Gracie thought she was going to cop it, but Lam went easy on her.

Yuck, It's been hours, i've had breakfast and lunch and i can still taste that disgusting 151.
I took on those bourbon and colas last night like there was no tomorrow.

Haha, i did it all within such a short time it felt like i was going to be okay... until i realised i was losing my balance. It totally sucked cuz i remembered everything and i can so imagine at the time what a putz i was but i couldn't really help it.

John and Lam especially helped me around. That made me feel worse because i sensed he might've got annoyed with me saying sorry all the time.
It was the night i let myself go before school started. Before i had a chance to talk to anyone or dance and get into it, we we're leaving. Couldn't believe how fast the night went (when you're drunk).

The American rapper Jin was apparently there performing but all i got was "Yo WASSUP MELBOUUURNE!" and the usual crap that comes after.

Overall, apart from making myself a looming jackass the entire evening it was enjoyable. Should've taken Kimmi's last advice when she said i might've had too much.

No worries, lol hey Tuan! Bottoms up!

-Jay

A blow to the pocket

Happens to most of us adolecent motorists.

It's the thing i couldn't dread more at a time like this.
Thanks to my complete and utter stupidity...

2 fines, one speeding and one transmission condition.

After coffee, Lam pushed for him to drive. I guess it was one of those situations where i just should've let him be.

As usual, i gave my sprinter a rev on the 4A-GE, 5th gear and i see someone is tailing me, but it the car wasn't accelerating to overtake me and i was doing 100 km/h in a 70 km/h zone.

It occured to me it might've been a cop car and before i knew it, there was blue and red lights all over the place.

I remembered being in a stage where i was shaking and my mind jumped all over the place. I was glad of all people Lam was there and he sparked a ciggy to ease my nerves.
The officer approached me and in the most calm and collected manner he asked me "how was you're evening sir?"

It was a highway patrol car, notorious for knowing ever trafffic law and being just plain arseholes. It didn't make the situation any easier on my part. I knew it. I got done. In a matter of weeks would've been on my full licence but it didn't look like it was gonna happen.

The officer continued, "Did you know you were going at a 100 in a 70 zone?" I replied "Yeh, i thought it was 80" and for some reason it sounded like the lamest way to weasel myself out of the situation.

Officer suprised by my stupid comment iterates that "Even if this was 80, you're still 100 over. I was tailing you."

One word buzzed through my mind.

"Laters."

My heart raced like never before. I was scared about my financials with my school fees, and upcoming birthday party... but that was the least of my concerns at that point considering i was more furious at myself than anything.

I thought to myself, "yep, this is it. I'm going to cop it, and i'm going to cop it nicely."

Then came what was worse and that scared me to the deepest recesses of my soul when the officer asked "Your licence says you drive automatic, but why are you driving manual?"

And i tried to explain it was pointless for me logically to get a manual licence test again when i turn full licence in a matter of months but needless to say it wasn't going to happen anymore.

He took my details and went back to his car, probably to check my background and Lam tried his best to comfort me.
It worked, and i thought to myself this serves as a reminder that thing's could be worse. I told him that i'd rather a fine than a crash that involved the injury of my friend. What he said stuck to me, which was "The hardest thing to do is smile, and you're smiling."

Felt at that point nearly all the stress and fear went away.

So all the new scenarios started to play out, taking public transport to Uni for the next 6 months, having the worse 21st party i can possibly throw, and having long conversations with the boys and being initiated into the club of those who've lost their licence. And i counted it up, and only Tuan and Allan would be the remainder. Strange procrastination but yeh.

The officer came back. My heart raced again, wat was a moment of bliss came to my judgement.
He handed me two sheets of that famous "pink" paper and said something that changed how thing's would go for the next 6 months.

"I've taken the speed down, so your licence won't be suspended" and my initial reaction was "HUH?!"

I must be dreaming. Am i having a delusion??

"I've taken the liberty of deducting your dimerit point on the auto technicality too."

I still couldn't believe what i was hearing.

Without thinking, i grabbed and shook his hand vigouriously. I said sorry so many times i couldn't count.
The poor idiot driving clearly over, and clearly in a position to lose his licence was shown mercy.
There was no doubt in my mind and Lams that i was fucked. Plain and simple. He was in no position to do what he did, but he did it.

Even now, as i write this 2 hours after the incident i'm sitting here trying to believe what just happend.

I got to keep my licence, pay a ... hefty but reasonable fine for my 3 second of speed.
Will i probably speed again? Probably... i thought to myself thank god i sold my turbo skyline and got that slow ass sprinter.

Thing's could always be worse.
I told Leone i had a feeling something really bad was going to happen to me next week. I guess i was on par again.

Guess i'll be staying at home more often now.

-Jay

Holiday progress part. 2

Debt. Something i'm sure everyone is in at the moment.

Today arrived in the mail was none other than the amenities fee from Uni that reminded me that i have no money.

$216 bucks.

Then there's the damn parking fine i've been delaying since January and they've threatened me with a court notice (yikes!) that's $66 bucks. Then there's the most recent fine from the kind people from Caufield that costed me $20.

I really need a job, and i'll need it soon. If anything i've got my last year's tax returns to look forward to and if all goes well and my employer payed more tax than i should; it would allow me to claim some back.

Damn i hate being poor. Mum's arm is sore, and i made it worse the other week. I'm sick of sleeping at night freezing cold cuz this place has no central heating and i can't use the mini heater cuz it drains too much power.

Sometimes i feel guilty i'm at school where i feel like i should be working full-time to pay off bills and things. More often than not, i spend my days just daydreaming of a better life which does nothing for my situation. Not everything is bad though... hopefully things'll change in the forseeable future, but i'm not revealing that yet just in case thing's don't fall through.

On the brighter side of things, i met up with Mic and John yesterday when i was going for coffee with the regular gang. I'm glad they also don't hate me cuz of what happend and i've never seen Mic talk so fast, it made me smile that he was alright with everything. Felt bad because i lost track of the time talking to the sprinter boys that the guys i was suppose to drink coffee with left.

I hope they're not mad.

It was annoying at EG cafe that the place was bombarded with Hondas, disgusting Front-wheel drive cars with their 'fulsick' exhaust trying to get their cars sideways. I agreed with Mic when he said "let's show em how it's done". Rear-wheel drive all the way! Viva la Ae86!

Hanzel the other day mentioned "just go out there and say hi!" in response to me being extremely intro-verted these days. Roles have been reversed and Allan (who for the life of me, never imagined him trying to pick up in clubs to getting phone numbers of heaps of ladies) and me, once loud and out-going has subdued to this lonely and quiet creature who resides in his own world.

Abbey and Adels party was proof of this; first time in my life i was frightened to death because i was in a room full of people i didn't know. I felt so scared and i needed to get outside just to breathe.

Maybe i should just start by saying hi, but then comes the hard part of knowing what to say next. I don't know... i remember back in the day i could talk about everything and anything all day. I'm getting old i suppose.

I've also taken it upon myself to start a short script comic. It's something i've been dying to do since Uni because i'd only think about characters/settings rather than concentrate on finance *shrugs* and other Uni mumbo jumbo.

I don't exactly know what i'll end up writing about but this short story should provide the neccessary feedback i need in regards to workload, story complexity, processes (from script to "paper" etc.)

I got the idea from watching the early works by pixar animation studios (one of the most talented writers in my books). The reason is their ability to capture characters and give the audience a feel of the situation and the problem at hand in a matter of about 5 minutes. Though at times it was very "rough" i believed it provided the framework to better quality short stories as the animation firm progressed.

Well, i'll try to keep a notebook besides me for the moments in life i feel tells a great tale.

I'll probably need to polish up my drawing skills and start developing a style for backgrounds and architecture. Maybe a trip to the city with a notebook and paper should help point me in the right direction...

I still refuse to get any professional training though, i think it would dilute any style i have.
I accept i might not be the best drawer in respects to Jim Lee and Greg Capullo (my early comic inspirations) but i'd rather be shit than to draw like the "manga" rip off artists i see everywhere nowadays. It disgusts me.

No style, no creativity whatsoever.

So, new objectives these holidays are:

[1] With the aid of Monin and Shant, come up with a combined storyboard for a short story (i should probably ask Shant if he's interested first, knowing him, he should be right haha)

[2] Take a scenic trip to the city alone and develop my scenary drawing ability

[3] Say "hi" to 3 random people next time i'm in a bar or a club (oh geez, what've i done?)

[4] Watch Spiderman 2

[5] Save money

I hope i haven't dug my own grave with these objectives.

-Jay

Holiday progress?

It's been a week into it, and really thing's haven't gone to what i've planned.

Instead of going out there and enjoying the best that life has to offer, thanks to my empty wallet i've been at home. Not that it's all bad.

I remember building a huge list of all the thing's i wanted to achieve or do as soon as the holidays had settled in and really i've done nearly all of it by 5 days. My car is clean (the wheels once again shine!), models have been built and painted, guitars and video games have been played, coffee and cigarettes consumed.

What really suprised me is that most of the guys are starting to play a lot more sport. Not that i'm against it actually i'm totally for it since i need the exercise.

It feels like something good has finally happend that i'm proud of. Especially when last time i went shopping my basket that usually contained crap like chocolate, chips and well... more chocolate is now weetbix (yes! weetbix!) fruits and something i thought was really cool, the gatorade powder mix; it comes with a nifty measuring spoon. I guess i'm very simple minded.

I watched the DVD's i burrowed off Allan. My favourites were "My neighbor Totoro", "Kiki's Delivery service", "Grave of the fireflies" and "Nausicaa - Valley of the wind"

All of them were made by Studio Ghibli one of my favourite animation firms.
I liked "My neighbor Totoro" because it captured what it feels like when you're a kid. It reminds me of a time i was really obsessed with building a secret hideout in my closet (where junkfood and comics were not uncommon in my hideouts).

When i look back on it, nearly 21 years old i wonder how far i've really come since those days. When i was a kid i always promised myself i'd never grow up, that i'd see that the greatest time i had in my life was a world i created on my own. Sounds kind of corny these days but it consolidates the reason why i want to persue a career in animation. What the hell am i doing with a finance degree? Time will answer that i suppose.

Grave of the fireflies was pretty good too, except that at times i thought the director was trying a little too hard to earn empathy. Seemed too much at times. Nausicaa's world was just breathtaking. The scenary and level of imagination was so awesome :) I see where some of the themes was inspired from as both film shares very similiar elements.

Kiki's delivery service wasn't my favourite. I thought it was predictable but the characters again save the movie.

I recently got in touch with Hanzel and Sam who i thought hated me because i haven't seen him online or recieved any calls from him in ages. Although he was someone i met because of Ying i'm glad he doesn't hate me because me and Ying aren't together anymore. I still wonder what Ying's been up to despite what happend. Though i don't dare to call and ask.

Seems everything's a bit mellow at the moment but i can't ask for anything more.
Well until next time.

-Jay

SPIDER-MAN 2

SPIDER-MAN 2 kicks ass - simple as that. whilst the directing and atmosphere of the overall film is different from the first (and doc oc is crazily animated compared to green goblin), i find it hard to say whcih of the two films is better. the first film had a more epic feel to it with exposition, character development, and history.. the second picks up from these issues and builds on them further, highlighting the events that stem from the histories established in the first spider-man film.

but back to spidey 2. all the original cast are back, including appearances by "unlce ben" and "mr. osborne", both of whom died in the first film. the character of dr. octopus was done really well, not that i nkow anything of the character from the comics since i wasn't a spider-man comic fan. i forget the actor's name who played the part, but he did a brillant job of being both benign and friendly, or meniacle and insane.

again, the writers produced a solid story full of emotion, humor, and despair. tobey maguire returns as peter parker and again does an awesome job at being the guy who is torn between the life he wants, and the life he was given. in the sequel, parker choses to ignore his responsibilities and lead an ordiary life and persue he love for mary jane.
his super-hero free life however doesn't turn out as he would like and he realises that he is destined "for great things" and put on the suit once again. but pete faces more problems when his best friend, harry osborne, is bent on revenge against spider-man believing that he killed his father. needless to say, things get complicated when spider-man turns out to be his best friend.

special effects wise, the film didn't depart from the first film's comic-ish type of animation - fast, colourful, and using fluid camera work. the highlights though would be the fight scenes (yes, there is more than one!) between spidey and doc oc as the tentacles prove to be a character of thier own. but the special effects aren't what make the film great; sure they help out a little, but the authenticity of the characters and thier feelings is what really makes the film engrossing and the characters believable.

of course, my rating of the film of 4/5 is biased because i'm a huge fan of the spider-man films, but i don't think you'd need much convicing to go out and see it for yourself.

and for any of you who have seen "evil dead" (specifically, part 2 as i haven't seen 1 or 3), you'll appreciate the references made by raimi in spider-man 2. it's bloody hilarious.

nutshell: awesome, 4/5.