better...

I ended up going for a drive... i feel much better.
Got myself a 7/11 Hot chocolate which is cool at times like this and just went for a walk at Monin's old primary school...

I didn't buy a pack of smokes either... It was quite bizarre. I stopped the 7/11 Attendant and i he asked if i needed anything. I replied by saying i needed smokes and almost spontaneaously i said "no thanks" and walked on.

There's a first for everything i guess? Never happend before.
Usually i try to stay away from them, and i usually buy it later.
This time i really needed it and i said no. Monin asked me "why?" and i think i said something like i just don't see a need for them in my future. I don't want to die from cancer.

Anyway, I desperately need a vacation. Goodnight.

-Jay

it's cold...

Listening to: [Green Day - Boulevard of broken dreams ]

Yesterday was good... today i had very little sleep. I woke up, forced myself to attend all my lectures... and did all my homework. But i've noted something...

I'm so fucken edgy. I can't stand it.
I feel so... backed up into a corner and sometimes am i smiling to escape what i have to do?

I owe $635 big ones to the ATO, who just out of no where said i have to repay heaps on 2001 back taxes. GREAT!
Speeding fines, no problem (that was my fault but i didn't expect to e pulled over at 4am just going 10km/s over)

All my uni books are on credit, i owe my aunty rego money and i have people owing me money. Money i never really lent to him and was never his. I feel this is a hopeless situation.

I want to scream and shout but it won't make a difference. I pray my applications for call centres and the CommBank falls through.

I've almost had it with my Sprinter. I can't even stand looking at it... i don't know why. It hasn't done anything to me... but i'm resenting my car... and im resenting myself.

I need a fucking walk.
I need smokes.

-Jay

work work!

Listening to: [ 311 - Amber ]

I was talking to Petey earlier, and i told him that it feels odd having lose friends, social life, love life for the sake of school.

I wished there was more hours in a day but that's never the case. Nevertheless, i did manage to squeeze in a couple of hour of study time.

My eyes are puffy and i have nothing but lectures tomorrow. I feel like i'm finally happy... the thing's i'm learning is not just a minefield of words and numbers i felt i HAD to learn to just pass. I'm feeling like what it was like to be in first year again and have that hunger to just learn.

Though my emotions sways two sides... school and life...
School wins.

Coffee has become my ally even though i'm not a loyal drinker.

Chow has hooked up with Kat and i think iwas more excited about it than he was. Haha!
I've noted how much he's changed since High school and i'm truly proud to say he's happy.

I think Chow learned that he doesn't have to defend himself from the world but finally embracing it.

I have class in 7 hours. I'd better bag.

-Jay

Green like the fungus on my FOOT!

Listening to: [ Will.iam featuring Fergie - True ]

I just saw a television ad that promoted electric lawn mowers and the selling point was that it (the lawnmower) is environmentally friendly.

"okay... whatever"

But it just occured to me. How can anything that uses a battery be green?

Electric cars, lawnmowers and Eva Mendes and the like are anything but green.
Especially Mendes who i would say is closer to red HOT.

Don't believe me?

Okay, bullshit aside let's think about where the electricity comes from. Yep, here in Aus i believe the figure is somewhere in the 7-80% of Australia's electricity is powered by coal.

And where does coal come from? If i did my homework right in grade 2; from the god damned ground. The issue arises when the average consumer who is generally expected to be a little be "green" in this day and age purchase electric products in retrospect of their nasty gas, petrol powered counterparts hoping when they go home they're saving the world one watt at a time.

Think again tools, cuz unless most people realise most electricity gets wasted as heat and sound while it travels in the power lines to recharge the god damned battery you're probably better off using petrol as i'm certain it shaves some energy loss.

What make me realise that "green" for vomit lawnmower is a fraud is the recharge time and official run time. It takes 12 hours to recharge the battery which is good for 1 and a half hours.

I read somewhere it takes 2 lumps of coal to send an email, and sending emails takes 2 minutes right?

Let's get the facts right, 70% of most consumers who have a stupid electric Earth saving lawnmower will be using approximately 1440 coals to fire up their stupid mower (using 2 lumps of coal for 10 minutes of electricity).

So take 3 moronic vegan, tree hugging planet savers who buy into this fraud of a contraption and like to save the world by keeping their gardens nice and green as their only hobby at the expense of our planet they are trying to save means 4320 pices of coal.

Given the popularity of stupid Toyota's and Hondas saturating the market with crappy electric vibrators with four tyres they call cars the figures for a greener planet seems pretty grim.

Electric cars are a doomed project from the beginning until our own Stephen Chow discovers hydro-fusion.

Wanna save the world?

Buy a petrol lawmower that uses 100ml of Earth cancer liquid (aka petrol) until tools realise electricity doesn't make a difference and probably does the opposite.

Trusty petrol.

When the power plants go down, who do they turn on to reliably power our city? mini PETROL guzzling generators.

I think it took 20 lumps of coal just to write this blog (it is true btw.) so i'm doing my bit. For all those who've bothered to read this crap article of no true reference (but i think i'm close) my 2 cents you've also wasted electricity and ur life. Kudos to you!

Ahh, the world is a sweet place. This is Jason Chung reporting, goodnight and suck my wang.

Tools.

-Jay

p.s: Jessica Simpson is the ugliest stuck up mole and i hope she gets hit by an electric car while crossing the street with Paris Hilton. We don't need people who's pebbles in their million dollar malibu mansions have more personality than they do nor do we need electric cars right now.

Free again

Listening to: [311 - love song]

What an awesome weekend.

Just got back from my smoke, i lit two tealights and watched the sun set. There was nothing but bliss and tranquility and it seemed as though the Earth stood still.

I just sat and watched the birds flock back to their homes as a cool breeze swept through what was a warm day. Today was one of those days where it was hot but not so extreme with the humidity playing a low key.

Earlier this week, i was nothing but stressed. Homework was not up to scratch and i had recieved a letter from the Australian Tax Office saying i had to pay back $635 odd dollars of past taxes.

Another crushing blow to my already depleted financial resource. What makes it worse was yesterday where Chow, Catherine, Sara and myself went to the moomba festival.

We ate at a really nicely furbished modern chinese resturant and then watched the fireworks. I've seen many fireworks before, yet last night i felt as though it was my first time. So i said to myself "fuck the world" in defiance of my worries and misery and just settled down and smiled.

We then got together in a bar away from the thousands that swamped the local bars and pubs in proximity to the moomba festival and just say back and really unwinded. I think the person who unwinded the most was Sara who got more than she bargained for when she ordered her "tropical fruit drink" that tasted like 100% alcohol. Kudos on her for finishing it despite my offer to get her a new drink.

The kick start to my studies have been excellent. Although there's always going to be hurdles i feel like i can do it. I feel finally happy.

There was a documentary about Antarctica on Channel 7 and it has inspired me to paint/create something that will inspire me to one day step outside my shell and see something as beautiful as an underground glacier and mountains upon mountains of wilderness. I thought about the people i'd choose to accomany me but i have realised many of my friends have come and gone, for the ones who've gone i sincerly wish the best for them. You all know who you are and somewhere i'm probably thinking about you guys. Always.

I've finally found peace. I just have to keep up the ante for my studies and see where the wind takes me from there.

-Jay